Twistinado

Come here when you wanna know what to think about your life and the world you live in. I know everything and nothing, at the same time.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Same Age

Do yall remember 4 or 5 years ago when I was writing commentaries for Blacknews.com? Well -- long story short; I had saved all those joints on a USB that I missplaced. Last week I found it by chance as I was looking through my boxes for this VHS tape of Jimi at Woodstock.

I plan blogging about the whole blacknews.com expirience because I think it was an important and formative time and process for me. But that'll come later. I'll post some of the old joints too.

But before I do that, I wanna hit yall with one of my favorites during that time, "The Same Age". I always thought that was a hot term and tried real hard to give it some legs back when I dropped it, but that mission failed. I still think its accurate, though. One of the things that always irritates me are those in our generation that are under the false impression that America is SOOO different when it comes to race-relations. They take the obvious progress that this country has made and then take it 10 levels up and act like things are almost ideal. It's stupid to me. They seem blind to blatant facts that this country is still really, really EFFED up when it comes to the underbelly of racial tension and race disparities. Then things like Katrina or these recent NYTimes articles startle them to consciousness and they're like, "Wow, things are still messed up."

Recently, there was an incident in Pasco County, the county directly south of my Hernando County and directly north of Tampa/St.Pete. Some neo-nazis that lived in a trailer with swatstikas and confederate flags waving in the wind, stabbed a white women in the face -- nearly killing her -- because she dated a black man (The Good Life is so complex). Then we have this situation at Duke where some white lacrosse playeers allegedly raped a black stripper. If found guilty, the rape seems to have much to do with a superiority-complex, similar to how the masters used to do the slave girls, spawning the house niggas. They lacrosse dudes were allegedly throwing out a bunch of "niggers" and such. These cases are aberrations, I know that. But I think the conditioning that took place over hundreds of years -- on both sides -- is still very prevalent. And what scares me is that more and more Americans are trying to act like thats not the case. By doing so, nothing proactive will be done. Look people that grew up in the Jim Crow south are 50. Some of them felt really strong about the way ethnic roles were back then. You really think their kids didnt get some of that? All that hate and distrust is gone?

Yo, I'm gonna stop rambling, though. I wrote this "Same Age" piece after that incident in 2002 when the students at Auburn dressed up in black-face for Halloween and stage lynching scenes and what not. Ignorant and hateful stuff. I'm just gonna post the piece. I basically feel the same way years later.

2001 - The Same Age

This year marked the ushering in of the “real” millennium. I can remember what I used to think it would be like in the 21st Century – I thought it would be like the Jetsons. I thought that cars would fly, dinner would be delivered up a space-age shoot in the form of small cubes, and housecleaning would be the responsibility of robotic maids. Yet, for all the astonishing advancement made by humankind in my lifetime alone, it is apparent that my predictions for the new millennium were dead wrong. In reality, ain’t nuttin’ changed. This is far from the Space Age – more like the Same Age. Automobiles still operate on ground level, food looks the same to me, and I can only fantasize about a robotic maid that would keep my apartment looking immaculate. And sadly, now almost 40 years removed from the Civil Rights Movement, a full year into the real millennium, and in the wake of Sept. 11 – a national crisis that was supposed to spawn lasting solidarity – racism and bigotry are still being perpetrated full-throttle. It’s happening in the boardroom, the newsroom, the classroom – it frequents all circles. However, this sustained racism is not a product of the reigns of technology prohibiting advancement, it is a bleak testament to mankind’s own personal on-going struggle with race relations.

Perhaps the most telling manifestation of the still prevalent nature of racism, bigotry, and hate was displayed by the students of Auburn University at two Halloween parties thrown by the Delta Sigma Phi and Beta Theta Pi fraternities. Seen at these parties were Klu Klux Klan costumes, young white men in blackface – some with nooses around their necks – fake Afros, mockery of the Omega Psi Phi fraternity (one of the oldest and largest black Greek fraternities), reenactment of a lynching, and other extremely disturbing and pejorative images. This was not an instance of unknowing college kids having ignorant and innocent fun; this was an all out attack on black America. Along with the Neo-Nazi swastika, no other symbols can rehash hurt or conjure up oppression the way Klu Klux Klan hoods and blackface can. Yet, these Auburn students so blatantly scoffed at these social taboos to the point were it defies logic. At one point I was rubbing my eyes to make sure I was actually seeing a group of white college students depicting a lynching. This cannot be chalked up as youthful ignorance – these were grown criminals. Nor can alcohol be used as the scapegoat – this was a planned event. Why do you think the black fraternity they chose to mock was the Omega Psi Phi fraternity? Could it be because the Omegas have the negative and ignorant reputation of being big black brutes – meatheads? Everything about the parties leads one to believe that they were conspired schemes. I can hear them now, “Dude, this year the coloreds, next year the retards.”

The two most troubling aspects of these infamous events is the fact that; one) things of this nature and to this degree still go on; and two) the lack of publicity keeps the most of America – especially white America – uniformed about such atrocities.

Ignorance is bliss and naïveté loves her rose colored glasses, maybe that is why so many people were shocked by what they saw. Such images had to be startling to those that felt that things like this just don’t happen any longer. What made it even more unlikely was where it occurred – on a college campus. Campuses have always been the residences of liberal thinking and social movements. It is there, in academia, where one would think that racist thought and bigot-like behavior would be most reviled. Sure, there may be some primal nutcase in the backwoods of Mississippi, or some twisted hermit in the recluse hills of Pennsylvania who might muster up the backwards audacity to step into a town Halloween party with a KKK hood over his mug. But college campuses are supposed to be different, it is on these campuses where racial sensitivity is supposed to be most apparent. However, when examined, it becomes evident that this is not the first instance of blatant racist displays by the students of Auburn University. Rather, African American students and faculty maintain that the recent atrocities are merely an instance of this ugly monster finally rearing its gruesome head to the public. It is only now, in reaction to the actions at the Halloween parties, that Auburn has made a concerted effort to add ethnic studies and diversity courses to its standing curriculum. The question that we must now ask ourselves is how many similar events have taken place at other universities across America? The probable answer is downright scary. It is vital to remember that just because you don’t hear about such occurrences, in no way means that they don’t occur.

Lack of publicity. That is the other depressing aspect of these events. Now true, most cases like this will never see the light of day because most have the sense not to go posting pictures on the Internet like the quintessential idiots at Auburn University. But, the quintessential idiots at Auburn did post the pictures on the Internet, and although it has caused a considerable stir within the black community; the majority of the public continues to be totally oblivious to fact that this has gone on. While ignorance is bliss and naïveté loves her rose colored glasses – knowledge is power. And though America cannot cliché their way to racial unity and bigot abolition, it can at least serve as a shock device that may jolt certain individuals to action. Yet, the nefarious deeds of the Auburn students have somehow managed to fall below the national media’s radar. No news stories on “Dateline”, no two-minute quip on MTV News, no columnists censoring the students involved – nothing. The news coverage has been minimal and national dialogue has been rather vapid. Though the nation is still in the midst of a crisis, with Operation Enduring Freedom (don’t laugh) garnering the headlines, that is no excuse for the disturbingly microcosmic matters at Auburn to receive such jejune news coverage.

The problem is that blacks don’t have the power nor the influence to determine what is and isn’t newsworthy. There aren’t enough blacks in the executive offices at NBC, CBS, or ABC. Do you think the editor of the Washington Post, New York Times, Time Magazine, or Newsweek Magazine is African American? No. And as America deals with terrorism and questions regarding its foreign policy, this is something they do not want to let out. After all, it might effect the newfound solidarity of the American populous.

See, civil rights and race relations are far from pork barrel projects, they’re more like grimy stains on Lady Liberty’s pristine robe, big fat zits on Uncle Sam’s slender nose, and ruffled feathers on the wings of the regal American Eagle. So, America seeks to sweep instances such as these far under the national rug, to make absolutely sure that these negative stories never see the light of day. What this does is lull the American public to sleep as they dream about racism finally fading away. Well, cases like this function as an ice-cold bucket of water to the crotch or a rousing backhand slap to the chops. It alerts everyone that racism and bigotry and hate are alive and well – thriving even. It lets the grammar schools, middle schools, and high schools know that they aren’t doing enough to deter hateful thinking. And most of all it highlights the abject failure of America’s parents.

Pressured by the NAACP, the Auburn Black Caucus, the Omega Psi Phi fraternity, Auburn students and faculty, and the local and national black community; Auburn University president, William F. Walker, indefinitely suspended 15 students who wore the racist costumes at the Halloween parties. (I’d go so far as to ask why the rosey-cheeked giddy white girls who posed, with ear to ear grins, for pictures weren’t disciplined as well. Wasn’t their jovial acceptance of such costumes and behavior just as reprehensible?) The Delta Sigma Phi and Beta Theta Pi fraternities have also taken action by closing the Auburn chapters. There was even an event led by the staff of the Southern Poverty Law Center that acted as a Town Hall Meeting of sorts; with students and faculty coming together to discuss “turning hate around through education and tolerance”. So things are being done to show that intolerance will not be tolerated, and also to try to create an atmosphere more accommodating of tolerance and racial unity. I guess every little bit helps right?

Still, the same song acts as the gloomy soundtrack for race relations in America. For every Civil Rights Movement, protest, Black History Month, and celebration of Martin Luther King’s birthday to help engender racial unity; there are Jim Crow Laws, hate crimes, and Auburn students in black face and KKK hoods depicting a lynching to remind us that ain’t nuttin’ changed. It’s like race relations in America is jogging on a treadmill, working up a good sweat, but going absolutely nowhere.

As we approach 2002, nearly 40 years removed from Jim Crow laws and the Civil Rights Movement, and many centuries removed from slavery, the same things are going down. Welcome to the Same Age.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The Man or The Artist

I'm really upset right now, because I inexplicably came down with a cold Monday night and it cause me to miss the Platinum Pied Piers at the Social in Orlando. I was looking forward to that concert for about a month, only to have those plans foiled by a sore throat and stuffy nose. Not to mention, this idiotic cold had me up at like 6:45am, which is just unacceptable.

Anyways, I'm up and thinking about music and thinkin about Woody Allen.

(Speaking of Jews, I've already seen, like, 3 SportsCenters, so I've switched to MTV and I believe I'm watching an orthodox Jew doing reggae. I swear. His name is Matiysahu or something. Either way, it's disorienting.)

Now, I'm no Allen-expert or Allen-super-fan; but I've seen most of his movies and find them generally entertaining. The other day, I was watching Bullets Over Broadway with Cusack, Tilly, Palminterri -- among others. It's one of my favorites, hilarious. There's this one scene where Cusack, his girlfriend (played by Louise-Parker) some other people and Rob Reiner are sittin at a sidewalk cafe talkin about life, love, art and all that; and doing so all poetically and insightfully. Anyways, a question is posed: "Do you fall in love with the man or do you fall in love with the artist? And if you fall in love with artist, is that wrong?"

Reiner is the alpha character at the table, because he's the oldest and fattest and loudest. He says that it's absolutely acceptable and right for someone to fall in love with artist. He basically said art is, if nothing else, at least tantamount to actual life -- at least thats how I took it. He then posed one of the most intriguing questions I've heard: "If you were in a burning building and had the chance to save the last known transcripts of Shakespeare plays or some anonymous man; who or what would you save?"

That's an ill question, right? I mean, part of being a true Christian is appreciating the sanctity of life. But I gotta admit, if it was 1988 I saw some random person in a burning building -- especially if they were caucasian -- and there was some disc or tape that would end up being It Takes a Nation of Millions...I'd have to think about it. That album is really, really important. What if it was the early 70s and some WASP, or perhaps and El Salvadorian, were trapped under a heap of rocks after an avalanche and by moving a stack of Spielberg scripts the human dies, but by removing the human, the scripts are lost forever...that's a tough one. And don't let the extra-bigotry fool u into the thinkin that I'm jokin about these. What if it's the 40s and some snaggle tooth nigra was tied to the train trax because he shaboinked some white broad; and I had time to untie Russel or untie some grainy Charlie Parker recordings that would lead to the modern jazz language? Does art trump that nigra's life?

No, it doesn't. I'm saving the WASP or El Salvo or Nigra, but the fact that I'd even think about saving an innanimate object first is telling. thats a powerful dilemma right there.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Music Dude on music

-- I think Shakira sounds exactly like Aaaron Neville. Seriously, they sound exactly alike. Peep it.

But, what if, just for giggles, they chose to do a show together, but only they had to swicth wardrobes. That would mean Neville wearing midrifts and low rise pants; and Shakira wearing muscle shorts and backwards kangos. I'm gonna make this happen.

-- I never really commented on the whole 36Maf winning the Oscar, because I knew blacks and whites would react in such a typical way. The jokes commenced. The "why do we have to sing about hoes to get an Oscar" commenced. Screw all that. That song was an integral part of the movie. It emoted the full gamut. I thought, in the context of the movie, it was inspirational. Did you hear the other songs? ZZZZZzzzzz. Boring. (Although, In the Deep had that beautiful, majestic chorus. I thought that was so pretty and poignant.) I was proud of 36, even though I'vge never liked them -- even in a small, minute way.

But then comes late 2005 and "Stay High". Loved it. For some reason, loved it. At first, I was considering that a Music Dude confession, but not anymore. When I look back at the song, I think it's hot. The beat is dope and I think the emcees (36, Buck, 8 and MJ) are spittin hot, too. When I say "spittin hot", I don't mean in the Nas/Elzhi/Black Thought context; I mean in the southern hop-hop context. Over the years, I've come to put my bias aside and listen to that stuff in a vacuum, because that's the only way a East Coat, NY-bred music nigga like myself can give that music a fair listen.

Anyways, I'm spittin all this to get to this point: "Poppin My Collar". Love it. It's somethin about these 36 niggas that's gettin at me these days and it's not the Oscar Kool-Aid. Yall know I don't get down like that. Don't know if I have truly put my arms around the record to be able to tell u exactly why I love it. But I just downloaded it and plan on putting iot on a CD with a few other confessions; namely E40's "Tell Me When to Go"; LL's "Control Myself" and a couple TI joints.

Don't fret. It's still me, though. I just thought I'd hit yall with those few confessions.

Here's what I won't do, though: that new Ghostface with Ne-Yo. Turns my stomach. Shame on Ghost.

Friday, March 24, 2006

The Cell Chronicles

I'm gonna ask everyone to do me a favor. My previous phone went on the blink, so I had to drive to St. Pete and pick up a new joint. Third phone since I started working with the Times.

Just puttin that out there. I have some emails with different numbers, but it'll probably be a while before I actually did through them and program them in my phone. So if you don't get a call or random text, know that it's because I'm workin with an empty Contacts list. If you get a sec, though, hit ya boy with a text or a quick call so I can save these numbers. Yeah, that's lazy. But what do you expect.

A Couple Things: Tourney

-- I can't believe that Adam Morrison started crying BEFORE the game was even decided. What a pee-you-ess-ess-why. I was never, ever, ever, impressed with dude. He's not athletic. Not strong. He has zero control over his emotions. His game is awkward. Can't wait until he's in the League so I don't have to hear about him anymore. I hate Duke, and never had much respect for Redick, but I think he'll be a better pro.

Once more -- can't believe Morrisson was crying with 2 seconds left to go, when he should have been composing his squad. That's just unthinkable. Maybe his blood sugar was low.

-- Did anyone else think the play-by-play announcer's call of that final 30 seconds of the Zag-UCLA game was hilarious?!?! He was screaming like a maniac. I can only hope one of the Sportscenter anchors will pick up on it and clown him tomorrow morining.

-- I'm counting at least 10 dope point guards in college right now am I'm lovin it. Peep em (in no order):

Randy Foye, Nova
Kyle Lowry, Nova
Daniel Gibson, Texas
Darius Washington, Memphis
Rajon Rondo, Kent
Marcus Williams, UConn
Ronald Steele, Bama
Jordan Farmer, UCLA
Young Mario Chalmers, Kansas

all these niggas are dope. Point guard position is in good hands.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

It's Our Anniversary

Yo. A few weeks ago I realized that we had past the blog's 1-year anniversary without a commemoration. That's not wassup. I was gonna do like a little year in review, maybe some awards...but that's not gonna happen. But I will repost some links to some of my favorite blogs. Get to clickin for a trip down memory lane:

NBA All-Star; Feb. 23, 2005: Do yall remember the rappin cowboy and the gangsta midget? I'll never forget em.

Tussin, Dex and Rine; March 09, 2005: This remains my favorite post. My Pops is probably the most unforgettable character I've come across. This one is him at his greatest.

I'm Not a Short-Order Cook; May 27, 2005: I spend waaayy to much time watching the Food channel. When I'm not watching FoodTV, I'm thinking about food/cooking. I also spend waaaayyyy too much time doin knowledge of the food/cooking/eating habits of family and friends. This post was a manifestation of that. Also, during this time, I was temping at various downtown DC offices and I did zero work, even if I was assigned to. Back then, during the summer, I used to say I blogged for a living. Every day I's step in the office and hit em with novel-blogs. I think this post was like 5,000 words.

Phrases that Payses: This one gets updated periodically. It's like the blog's dictionary.

The Good Life; June 09, 2005: Required for any Twist visitor or friend of mine. The term Good Life might me and the crew's lasting contribution to mankind. Meanwhile, J, my friend who wrote the column that motivated this post, is currently having a similar Black Love discussion on her blog.

Music Dude presents; June 09, 2005: The very first installment of Music Dude. It's basically a landmark. It's slightly less historic than the first Satchmo started scattin.

Frederick Fant; June 15, 2005: Another classic. A post about one of the co-workers at one of the offices I temp'd at. He was a classic Profiler, this nigga faked mo funk than a little bit.

Shame on America; June 22, 2005: My reaction to the conviction of Edgar Ray Killen, that bish at the helm of the Emmit Till tragedy. I was angry the day I wrote this, but meant every word of it.

Being Bobby Brown; July 06, 2005: Need I say anymore? A couple episodes had passed and I knew we were watching greatness.

Music Dude's seesion with Chuck; July 31, 2005: Required reading for hiphoppers.

My Landlord Mary; July 31, 2005: The blog introduces the woman that is now subject of periodic Wednesday's with Mary posts.

Juan the Janitor; August 11, 2005: Nothing like a hispanic cleaner to give a young, black Yankee a lil normalcy in South.

San Fran's Fong; Oct. 11, 2005: Me at my bigoting best.

Seniors! Ooo! Ooo!; Nov. 15, 2005: This remains my most profound experience with Florida's retirement community.

Free-ballin; Jan. 26, 2006: Y'ain't know Tom Petty and 'dem was my niggas? Prolly not. Betcha also didn't know, or want to know about my afternoon rockin jeans without underpants. But I divulged anyway.

That's about it. Keep comin back, though.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Huh? What do dat mean?

I know what yall are thinking: "I got the gist of yesterday's Pranos dream episode. But I'd love it if Twist would hit us with an expert analysis. Yeah, tell what to think, Twist."

I'd love to, but if you ask my boys, my sisters, anyone that knows me well; I'm a complete numb-brained-ditz when it comes to this stuff. I'll analyze the spit out of a song or a basketball game...but movies? dramas? My IQ drops to sub-0 levels, often. Ask Chuck. I'm surprise he even watches movies with me, since I usually have to stop the DVD every 20 minutes and have him explain things to me.

I mean, I watched Deer Hunter for the first time a couple weeks ago. And, its not like I'm clueless, I get the salient aspects of the movies I watch. But the intracacies, a lot of the symbolism; that goes right over my afro half the time. So I finished Deer Hunter thinking 3 things: 1) What exactly did I just watch? 2.) How did Meryl Streep when Best Supporting Actress for this role. 3.) Am I a history goon? Because this russian-roulette thing is kinda throwing me for some curves.

I'm sure u read that graf, winced and thought, "Boy, that dumb nigga is more stupider than I thoughted he was'd."

So be it. The point being, I'm not gonna be able to give u that expert analysis you want me to give. So I'll offer this link that has an interesting view. Read it -- you Moulions.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

D'Angelo

Just getting back from Tampa. I wish I could say I had a crazy night, but it wasn't. Anyways, I listened to the Brown Sugar album for the 45 minute drive back.

Now lets agree on this: The modern era of hiphop began in 1993 with Midnight Marauders, Enter the 36 Chambers, Boom Bap, 93 Til Infinity and Enta Da Stage. The post-modern era of jazz began in 1983 with Think of One and New York Second Line. Modern/alt rock began in 1991 with Nevermind, Gish and Ten. The neo-soul movement (truly began in 1993 with Toni Tony Tone's Sons of Soul) but essentailly began with Brown Sugar.

Everyone, drop whatever it is that you're doing at this moment, go get the CD liner notes to Brown Sugar and look at three things: produced by, vocal arrangements by, all vocals by.

I have one of the most powerful imaginations that a grown man can have without it becoming a debilitation. But I cannot imagine one artist being more important to each genres modern music than D'Angelo.

I gotta go get some breakfast at Nellie's right now. But check those liner notes and then do me a solid...sit down and do some SERIOUS knowledge on Brown Sugar. Check the background vocals. Check the vocal stylings. Check the hollow snares. Check the bassline on "Allright".

I finished listening to the album and came to this conclusion: D'Angelo has been music's greatest loss of our lives. The sad thing is that homeboy aint even dead.

****************************

Post breakfast addendum: I didn't go to Nellie's, I went to Dunkin Donuts and I listened to "Youre My Lady" there and back.

I've decided that Brown Sugar is gonna get its own novel blog. We'll have an online conversation and it's basically gonna be a one-way convo, consisting of me telling u what to think.

Until then, know that you've never heard a "clap" like you've heard on "Youre my lady". I'm serious about that. Never. More on that in novel blog, but know that right there. That was a brand new clap. Music niggas get the significance of that statement.

One other thing before I hop offline: my big sis Lyd know too much soul music. Lyd knows soul like u know its time for u to go to bed. Lyd knows soul like JJ Redick knows these are his last two weeks as a superstar. Anyways, she didnt know it at the time, but when we were teens Lyd was actually puttin me on to "the singer as a musician". Before I knew Sara Vaughn and Betty Carter were actually soloing when they sang, Lyd was unknowingly puttin me on to how niggas used vocals to not only season the dish, but bake it. Please check "Youre My Lady" and check the background vocals, keeping in mind the name that you find after "all vocals by..."

D'Angelo novel-blog comin soon

Friday, March 17, 2006

Players I Dance With

Real quick:

My favorite college players right?

1. Randy Foye, G, Villanova: I blogged about him earlier in the year. His game is distasteful.

2. Darius Washington, G, Memphis: I like how he cried after that free-throw last year. How he just collapsed. That's a bball nigga for u. He's special. And I like his game better than Foye's, but Foye's just a little nastier.

3. Jeff Green, F, GTown: I know what yall thinkin, "Just because he lived in the same town as you (Hyattsville, MD, aka The Ville) and went to the same HS as your adopted little brother, Niyi; doesn't mean he should be your third favorite player in the nation." I feel you, but this has nothing to DC with him being a PG/DC rep or playing for one of fav bball squads. This has to do with the fact that homeboy is downright sick. Does everything on the court. You see him in that Duke upset? Don't sleep on this kat.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

forgot...

Yo...just realized that I totally missed the blog's 1-Year Anniversary. It happened in early Feb., Feb. 6 to be exact.

A little trip down memory lane coming soon.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Seniors and Sopranos

-- If I see one more senior walk into the gym rockin some slacks from a leisure suit, a hawaiian shirt and glaucoma shades, doing 10-lbs on the shoulder press machine...I'm gonna do one of two things: spit on them and then high-five their head with a dumbbell; or peel off all my skin and take a RonRico rum-shower. I can't take it anymore. Stop coming to the gym dressed like your headed for an early-bird dinner after you finish doin butterflies...actually, maybe that's the reason.

-- I was gonna email this next thought to my Pranos Crew, but thought I'd share with everyone. Here's part of the Pranos genius: we still care about Tony. I don't know about yall, but Chase and Co. did about everything they could do to make us hate Tony back in 2004. His selfishness and temper and immorality peaked and it really couldnt go much higher -- the most despicable instance (to me, at least) was during Sunday dinner with Janice, Bobby and Bobby's kids. Janice was in anger-management classes after she beat down this yuppie soccer-mom. The anger management classes were really working. By letting go of the anger and controlling her emotions, Janice was a happy camper. Tony on the other hand was in Dr. Melfi's office pitying himself and his subjetion to anger and frustration. He was aware of how Janice's anger management classes were helping her, but he was too proud to attend one, I mean, he was already the butt of jokes and subject of rumors once it was leaked that he was seeing a shrink. Shrinks and anger-management aint gangsta.

Anyways, on a couple instances, he was Janice handle frustrating situations with a smile, particularly a telemarketing call, and Tony had previously revealed that telemarketers incense him. Well, Tony is a jealous and spiteful prick. So midway through dinner, out of absolutely nowhere, he starts needling and mocking Janice for being an absentee mother. I mean, it was merciless and astoundingly sophomoric (hilarious, though). Janice's other kid (which her stepkids knew nothing about, until Tony brought it up) lived in Canada, which prompted this from Tony, "How do you say 'I never knew my mother' in French?" Then he spouting french gibberish, smiling all the way. Janice is enraged, tries to attack Tony while he runs around the table smiling, laughing and goading her. Then he walks out the house and down the street as the episode comes to a close.

I was through with dude by that point.

Then we have the Season 6 opener. One of the things that kills me about Tony is that he's a walking disaster. If you get close enough to him, he's gonna ruin some part of your life. He knows that and sometimes it really bothers him. You can tell he drowns in guilt. But a lot of times, he just doesn;t care.

Which brings us to yesterday'd episode. You got Benny, suddenly richer by 2 million dollars that his grandma left as an inheritance. He wants out of the mob life, his wife wants out even more than he does. She hates Tony, would clip em if she could. She hates Tony because he's selfish and careless. Benny goes to Tony, tells him about his sitchy, asks for an out. Tony, like an a-hole, wont let him. Next thing you know, FBI has Benny in its web, now that they no longer have Adriana. Benny cant take it. He's stuck in NJ, with a furious wife and no way out, plus he's got feds breathing on his back. So he hangs himself.

I couldnt believe it. I wanted to strangle Tony for drivin that man to that point. He was a good dude. Sans mob-activity, he was a caring kat, you could tell. First kat to the hospital when Tony's driver got bludgeoned by Johnny Sack's NY crew. You could tell in his face that he was hurtin almost as much as the kid with the bashed in face. He was a soldier, too. But he wanted out. And I always admire kats that wake-up, smell the cognac and want out. That's why I always identified with D'Angelo, String and Wallace on the Wire. But this prick Tony wouldnt let the dude roll to Florida. I know his reasons, but have a heart man. Then the Feds got involved. They drove Adriana to ulcers and Benny to suicide -- and Tony was at the center of it all.

But then the very next scene, the closing scene, we got Uncle Jun actin like a screwball. Tony sends dude to take his medicine, Uncle Jun comes back with a pistol and caps Tony in the gut. You'd have thought I wouldve been on some ol' "Good for him" ish, right?

Nah. And thats when I realized how craft Chase and Co. are. I was scared to death for my man. Through seven years, we've managed to not only form an attachment to this hoorible human being, but he's actually endeared himself to us, somehow. I care about the fictional Tony.

When you can make a man with as many character and moral flaws as Tony, when you can make that kat human (even though he acts and thinks like an animal, often), when you can make me care about that dude -- that's gangsta.

Here's what I wish, though: I wish Uncle Jun wouldve shot Tony in the jaw, so that in the next episode, Tony would sound like an italian 50 Cent.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Sunday Night TV

I'm prepared for one of my most anticipated nights of television in a long while.

To accompany me through the night, I don't have like-minded friends, siblings or a main squeeze -- I got my trusty crew: Food and alchohol. No wonder I'm an obese lush. I'm rockin with these new Sour Cream and Cheddar CHEEZ-ITS. They're the diggity. To keep me buzzin like Brian Oliver, Kenny Anderson and Dennis Scott (that's a March Madness reference) I've siffed through the liquor store to uncover the New Kop. As you all know, me and my niggas like to toggle through dwelling in both spectrums. We'll ridicule a scotch that isn't single malt, but then go kop Mad Dog 20-20s. Well, I love finding cheap rums, only because the names are always splendiferous. For instance, back in the summer, I blogged about a new Flrodia discovery called Ron Carlos. A rum that you could buy for 9.99 -- a liter for 9.99. To compare, Bacardi, know for its reasonable price, will set you back a mere $18.99 for a liter. So the Carlos is basically half that, which spawned my nickname "9.99 Ron". I found a new one yall...(Vino, you'll get a kick out of this)...RonRico. It's spelled exactly like that on the bottle. $10.34/liter. It's dancin with some diet Vanilla-Cherry Coke.

Anyways --- here's why this is the most anticipated evening of television in a while...

-- Through The Fire: Can't wait to see this documentary on Bassy. Love basketball documentaries. Hoop Dreams was a revelation and an important American film. I saw an indie doc on basketball in old Brooklyn, based on some Jews that were bball fanatics. This one is gonna be special. I read Ian's book on Bassy's last year. It was cool. But I think the footage will be more powerful. I think they had more access.

-- Pranos: Don't need to say much here. It's been two years. It's the final season. I just hope it doesn;t dissapoint like Curb did last season or 24 is doing right now.

-- Flavor of Love: I'm saving comments on this series for a novel-blog. Needles to say, TiVo kopped.

-- That new HBO series about polygamy: EVERY series that airs on HBO gets a three episode trial. They've earned that respect from me.

-- Number 1 Single: I've always thought Lisa Loeb was cute. Does watching this show make me gay? I'm hoping not, because it's No. 12 on my Season Pass Manager.

Here's the thing, though -- there's no way I'd be able to do this without TiVo. Some of these shows come on at the same time. I got a couple work calls I need to make between now and 10. It wouldve been a disaster without TiVo. But with Tiv (that's TiVo's nickname), I will sit down around 9:30-10p and watch 5-6 hours of anticipated television. I'm smitten right now.

BTW: didn't even watch one second of Selection Sunday, until right this second. Vitale, in case your wondering, is violently censuring the selection committee for Cincy and FSU's exclusion. I guess I'm looking forward to filling out my bracket, but not really. Here's my prediction, regardless: Nova, UConn, Texas, G'Town. Now, I don't know if they're in the same brackets or not...that was just a random hunch.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Love Don't Live There

Here's something we all know: I'm a Love-Life Loser. For 27 years, I've lost at that game. But here's something I won't do: online-dating. I just don't get it. You won't find me on findlove.com or letsgetphysical.com or areyoumysoulmate?.com. For real, when did it become cool for a computer program to do a job that most humans used to not want other HUMANS do for them?

I'm thinking about this because I just watched a commercial for eHarmony.com, where all these couples of different ages, races, shapes, walks of life (but not sexual orientation) talking about the magic and fairytale feelings of the first time their lips touched the lips of the person they met on something called the World Wide Web. This commercial was moderated by Orville Redenbaucher, who, in the midst of popping a batches of stove-top kettle corn, somehow found time to create a Web site for people lookin for love, a first kiss and maybe some third-date nookie.

These sites are basically computer programs that tell you who you'd be good with based on some answers to questions. Some how, this process, bereft of anytype of human interaction and emotion can somehow spawn magical first kisses and lasting relationships. I'm sorry, but that's a bunch of JJ Redick.

The day is not drawing near, that day is here.

I remember growing up, Hannah Barbara tried to run game on me and my peers -- he'd been doing it for a couple generations. This space-age fundamentalist tried to get me to believe that I'd have a Rosie by the time we it was 12:01 in the new millenium. I believed him for a while, but it was 1995 and I was listening to D'Angelo (probably Jonz in my Bonz), I was about 16-yrs-old or something, and I predicted that I'd still be driving a car on the ground in 2000 and I wouldn't have a Rosie to clean the pubes out of my tub. That's be on Twist.

But then, within a year, I got hip to this World Wide Web jidoint. And that quick, things are getting Jetson like, but not in a spacehighway, Rosie kinda way. I think it's going past that. If people are relying on computer programs to hook them up with love, I don't know how much further we can go. I mean, what can be next? Are computer programs gonna start creating music? Like, can we tell a computer program, "Sound like Phyllis Hyman, sing about heartache and make it a midtempo ballad"; and next thing you know there'd be no need for personal human experiences, gifted voices and live instruments? Is that where we're going? I mean, the makers of Polar Express were in Time magazine last year, saying that pretty soon we won't need Tom Hanks, just his voice and that technology will do the rest. How's that? Really, explain how that's cool. What is really next? Will I carry around some computer program that processes all of my human interaction for the day, takes an inventory of everytime I wronged someone and then, at the end of the day, calls that person and apologized in a computerized droid voice?

This isn't righteous indignation I'm spewing here. I'm not in the least bit mad, this isn't some soap-box. I'm not wagging my finger or saying tsk-tsk. It's merely some genuine incredulity and some sincere uncertainty. I really think that technology and the World Wide Web can potentially render some of the most basic, fundamental human interaction and people-stuff extinct.

Because, let's keep it funky, online matchmaking sites is just a screwy concept. A computer program posing as a meddling friend or an annoying aunt? OK.

Not to be morbid, but I hope disaster strikes some of these couples. Not so that they'll suffer, but so they'll serve as cautionary tales. We all watch 24 and we all know that, sometime a couple innocent lives are shed for the greater good. I mean, the O-Town kids arent doing too well. Ashley and Jacob, they're laughingstocks and public objects of scorn. But music is better off without BoyBands. Their suffering was necessary. So hopefully one of these eHarmony.com broads will Lorraina Bobbit some dude that posed as a George Clooney but he was really a Kevin Federline. And hopefully they'll combine the pain of their broken experiences and gang rape Orville, pour scolding hot movie butter on him and feed him uncooked kernels. Maybe thet'll learn these people.

I'm against stem cell research and I'm against computerized matchmakers.

Vote Twist in 2008.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Its here.

The list is done. It way long, rambling and inundated with spelling and grammar errors, but that's how I do. The arguments are also muddled and sometimes confusing, but this isnt a college paper or an article I'm turning into my paper. I write what I feel, as I feel.

Also, I wanted to link to all albums and artists I mentioned, but that just got to be too much work.

Other than that. It's finally up. Do the knowledge.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Music Dude presents: The Seven

Before we get into it, if you havent read this post or this post. You might wanna do so.
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And please note that this list deals strictly with MODERN era, please check the timeframe. That is why the list will exclude Marly Marl, Eric Sermon and Prince Paul. Although they continue to make beats, their impacts were most felt between 87-92. That's when each of them changed hiphop as we know it. They'd definitely be in a Top 10 of All-Time list. And, if I'm feeling spry -- I might post at the botton of this blog what that Top 10 would look like.

As you all are well aware, this is an official Music Dude post, which means that what's said is fact, not opinion. It's biblical and infallible. You might read some comments from dudes that are authorities in their own rights, but they aint the Dude.

Knowledge starts now.

The Seven Greatest HipHop Producers
of the Modern Era (1993-now)

7. Fo'Real Williams: Most people know that I sweat this man's music like a fat women, runnin a marathon in Zimbabwe wearing a plastic garbage bag. To me, Pharell's genius is bringing "groove" to the hop. Hiphop has always been so much about "beat", about "ryhthm", but never about groove. Until recently.

Hop niggas were first introduced to P and his boy Chad on SuperThug of the N.O.R.E. album of 1998. It was the No. 1 club-banger for that year probably...and Nore really did show niggas how to rhyme on Neptunes beats -- because that was before P hooked up with Jay and started producing homeboy acts from Virg like the Clipse, who first rocked a Neptunes track in 1999 called the Funeral.

I was originally gonna go with Timothy in my No. 7 spot. He was crazy influential, too. The way he used the sped up, syncopated bass drums and snare kicks. He created a sound that everybody bit. Plus he could produce a raw track like Hovito. But Timbo was always kinda corny by himself. Like the stuff he did with Magoo. I mean, Magoo can kill anyone's resume. It's like a great director comin out with Eurotrip or somethin. And Timbo came with a fat white dude name Bubba Sparx, who tried to make hillbilly cool.

When you put the two side by side it comes down to preference, because they both changed Hop in semi-monumental ways. Timbo pioneered "weird-scientist" type methods, Rell introduced groove and melody (not, melody from a sampled record, but actual new melody created by Rell). When its get down to it, I can do without some of Tim's inter-galactic inventions, but Hop would sorely miss the musical elements Pharell threw into the mix.

And check P's resume: Excuse Me Miss -- Jay-Z, which happened to be, maybe, the first "grown-up" track of this new "grown-and-sexy" era. He nailed about four bangers on ODB's second album, including Cold Blooded, the ill Rick James cover. He managed to make the Clips hot. And he blew Nore up.

And we won't even get into his R&B triumphs like producing the only hot tracks that Brittney Spears (Slave) and Omarion (Touch) ever recorded.

6. James Dilla: You already know what I think about Dilla, based on my eulogy to the great producer. The euology will tell you why I think he's great and why he overtook Pete Rock as my favorite producer. But why is he No. 6? Homeboy took what Pete Rock did and, not necessarily made it better, but definitely made it his own, so he was never bitin. And then niggas started bitin him! And Dilla created, or at the very least cemented, the sound of a whole city. If niggas look at alot of the music comin out detroit these days, especially on the soul-hop/hip-soul tip, I think it's rooted in Dilla's genius. The Platinum Pied Pipers put out one of the illest music albums in a while: funk, soul, hop, electronica -- the whole nine. Dilla's fingerprints seemed to be on much of that.
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And you know what, Dilla was much more than a hop producer (although that doesnt have much bearing on this list), but it still needs to be mentioned. During 99-00 where he had the greatest hiphop production year for any producer, he also produced the two illest tracks off Mama's Gun and, perhaps, the best track of 1st Born Second.
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And just so I can stop rambling, I'll just give you a list of some of my favorite Dilla tracks...
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Song, Album, Artist
"Let's Ride", Amplified, Q-Tip.
"Da Booty", A Love's Movement, Tribe
"Heat", Like Water, Common
"Didn't Cha Know" AND "Kiss Me On My Neck", Mama's Gun, Badu
"Certified", Jazzmatazz 2, Guru
"Stakes Is High", Stakes is High, DeLa
"Runnin", Labcaincalifornia, Pharcyde
"Where Do We Go", Quality, Kweli
"Much More", Grind Date, DeLa
"Do You", Deli, Slum
"It's Your World", Be, Common
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And this doesn't even get at joints he's done for Spacek, on his albums, on the first Slum album or on the Jaylib joint.
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5. Peter Rock: For most of my hiphop life, PR, the Soul Brother, was my favorite. I used to argue that he was the best producer ever, over Premier -- but that's back when I looked at producers as strictly beat makers. And as a beatmaker, I'm still arguing Pete over Dilla and Primo.
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I actually wanted to put Dilla over Pete Rock because Dilla actually "resided" over album projects. Pete only did that with Pete Rock and CL Smooth albums. Most of his other work was a beat here and beat there, so, outside of his stuff with CL, you never got to see the full-capacity of his directorial skills at work.
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But I couldnt put Dilla over Rock, because Dilla is Rock. So is Kanye and 9th Wonder and Just Blaze and bunches of other niggas that inculcate horns and soul riffs and other chopped-smaples into their tracks. De La, and therefore Prince Paul; and Tribe, and therefore Shaheed; had come out before Pete and CL debuted in 1991. But I doubt Pete was sittin in Mount Vernon, heard 3 Feet High or Instinctive Paths and -- voila! -- he had his musical steez. Those Native Tongue albums may have introduced hiphop to jazzier sounds, but Pete was still different. It wasn't jazzy, although he hit us with, probably, the illest horn riff in hoop-history, which was the sax off Reminisce...Pete was more soul. And everything was obscure and sampled so magnificently. I bet if you took every producer inHop, PR has the deepest crates, you can tell with his music.
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So in the midst of two extremes in the early 90s, which was alternative-hop of the Native Tongues and the brewing hardcore gangsta ish comin from the West and, lest we forget, that funky-James Brown ish that EPMD was still championing; you had Pete comin out with this melange that was funky-soulful-and blatantly hiphop all at the same time. He was unique and with the help of Large Pro, showed alot of these younger niggas how to do this.
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He was a creator and, for my ear that was reared in jazz music, the dopest to ever do it.
If you wanna do some knowledge on Pete, check these albums: Illmatic, Main Ingredient, Soul Survivor...and, don't sleep, Blue Funk.
And oh by the way, "Reminisce" is considered to be on of the three or four best beats of All-Time. It was a musical masterpiece from the subtle gospel humming in the backround, to hard, charging snare to the famous sax-sample. But for my money -- and I swear I'm not being controversial-- my favorite Pete track ever was "Straighten It Out" off that same album. The trio-horns yo-yo steez and that despicable guitar lick will be the cause of my death one day.
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Rock on Peter.
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4. Pregunta Amor: The first and only band leader in hiphop, the ring-leader for the Soulquarians (?uest, Dilla and Poyser), omnipresent in hip-soul/soul-hop. Here's the essential nuts-and-bolts for why ?uest is this high and above Pete -- he is a TRU producer. ?uest reigns over projects. For instance, Dilla produced much of Like Water, but ?uest was executive producer...and executive producers in hop are different than movie exec producers. In the movies, exec-prod give money. In hop they reside over the whole projects. They yes-no songs, offer advice/critiques on album directions/sounds. Only two other niggas do this better than ?uest and theyre my Nos. 1 and 2 on this list.
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To begin, ?uest produced every Roots album, which gets him on this list to begin with. From Do You Want More, when it was mostly all live, to Illadelph Halflife when the Roots moved to a very crisp studio sound, to Things Fall Apart, when they melded the two and then Phrenology when he started expirementing with electronica and more eccentric sounds, my nigga ?uest was on that dippa. If Pete Rock has the deepest crates, ?uest had the most authoritative grasp on music.
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I remember a concert at the 9:30 club when we saw the Roots, I think it was the Okayplayer Tour, and during an intermission, ?uest came out and played DJ for about 20-30 minutes. You'd never heard a more seamless quilt of musical genres, it was ridiculous. And that all comes out in his music.
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What people don't understand is how incredible, classic and landmark Electric Circus was. Hiphoppers, the narrow-minded ones, panned it because it didnt sound like One Day or Like Water, but musically, it was important. The direction that ?uest and Common took music on that album was quite seminal. Like Love Below, they were basically making a "music" album, rooted in hiphop. There's no way Common makes that album without ?uest and its obvious since his previous and later works always were made in his producers personalities -- think about it: One Day sounds like NoID, Water sounds like Dilla and Be basically sounds like Kanye. Well Circus was unapologetically ?uest, directing an album with a like-minded artist who was seeking to explore music. That album would have been in a shambles without someone with impeccable vision and a relentless grasp of music. That dude was ?uest.
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He continues to do that for the Roots, his main canvas that he paints the prettiest on. And he's done so for countless soul artists like Bilal, Badu and D'angelo. In fact the two greatest soul albums since the Neo-Soul movement (excluding Omar, since he's from the UK) were Voodoo and Mama's Gum, which Soulquarians (primarily Dilla and ?uest) directed.
?uest might even be higher, if he worked with more hop artists. But the Roots and Common, because theyre so prolific and because those albums, musically, are so challenging and because ?uest is so integral to those albums...it pust ?uest this high on my list.
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3. Disc Jockey Premier: See, this is where things get dicey and convoluted and where feelings get hurt and close friends start to say hurtful things. Primo No. 3?!?!?!!! I can see niggas askin themselves that, very incredulously. "I mean, maybe Vince is on some sort of drug and he put another nigga at No.1, but then Primo will definitely be #2. He can't go no lower than that! It's unHop."
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But feel me. First off, although Pete Rock is my favorite producer (in the general sense of beat-maker) of all-time, I concede that Primo is the dopest and greatest. Much like how I favor Magic over Jordan. Now I can make compelling arguments for both Pete and Magic, but conventional wisdom and evidence supports Primo andJordan. It's just Pete and Magic appeal to my personal senses and liking. Magic's game stayed refreshing and inventive, whereas Jordan's game got boring after awhile (this is a subject for its own novel-blog); Magic changed the way the game was played more than Jordan (I swear I can make the argument. See: Tim Duncan). I feel the same about Primo sometimes. After awhile, he got a little boring to me.
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I was kickin it with my man Vino the other day and told him how I fell BACK in love with Primo, because after Moment of Truth, Primo got cliche'. But that, ironically, is where the discussion of his genius begins.
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Primo became such a signature for that gutter, authentic hiphop sound, that EVERYBODY wanted a Primo track -- and he obliged. Which is where the basis for him being No. 3 begins.
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Primo was just givin niggas tracks. He wasnt in the studio directing these cuts; and if he was, it managed to come out sounding hackneyed, without creativity and a well-traveled. See, Primo resided over those gangstar albums and over Jeru's first few albums, but that's about it. And, many times, those albums sounded like Beats and Ryhmes. The two niggas I'm ranking above him have two things over Prim, the albums they directed sounded moe complete and visionary (not that Primo's didn't, just that not as much as these two) and they produced solo acts which went on to commercial, critical and real-nigga Hop success.
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Maybe it was his lyricist, but Primo's albums always seemed like he put together and death-inducing track and someone came and spit some lyrics on it. The ingredients came out sounding like a salad and not a cake -- once again, compared to the top two niggas.
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I do owe Prim an apology though. As Gee tried to tell me, I was buggin with Dilla's 99-00. Yes, Amplified, Like Water, Fantastic Vol.2, Mama's Gun and 1st Born Second is -- almost -- unfathomably dope, especially for a basic newbie (he hadn't taken the reigns like that before). But it's no 1994-95 Primo.
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In fact, going down the list of tracks Primo produced during that historic year is important -- very important. I'll explain why in abit. First check the discography...
Artist, Album, Songs
Gangstarr -- Hard to Earn: Produced the whole thing, including classics like, Code of the Streets, Mass Appeal, Tonz of Gunz.
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Jeru -- Sun Rises: A Classic among the Classic albums, which included classic beats like Static and D Original.
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Group Home -- Livin Proof: includes classic tracks Supa Star and Livin Proof.
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He produced every track on those three ablbums. But here's the crazy and historical thing. From 1993-on, the East came back after a good 2 or 3 years of West domination and this 1994-95 period was crucial in gettin NYC on the map. In each instance, outside of Wu members, every nigga came to Primo to give them that rugged, authentic NYC sound and he delivered time and time again. You could say that the NYC and East Coast ressurgence was on the backs, musically of Primo and this other nigga we'll be gettin to soon. Just check the next albums I mention. In each case, Primo submitted at least two tracks and each of them influenced the direction and NYC feel to the album. Primo, you can say, was clutch!
KRS -- KRS One
Fat Joe -- Jealous Ones
Nas -- Illmatic
Biggie -- Ready to Die
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Outside of Come Clean, off Jeru's album, few songs signify that East Coast comeback -- in sound -- more than Represent off Illmatic and Unbelievable off Ready to Die. Every single one of those albums are 5 Mic Classics and Primo, probably, produced the dopest track on each album. That's saying a whole lot. These niggas basically said, I need to get Prim to lace me with at least two or three tracks of that New York ish and produced. Now, if Primo would have produced the ENTIRE Illmatic album, my viewpoint of his place on this list may different -- although, I doubt Illmatic would have been Illmatic if Primo would have been at the healm, because, on again -- I'm sold on Primo's vision.
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Then Primo laced Jay-Z on his first album and took some time off. Then he came back two years later with Moment Of Truth, which was impeccable and cemented him as the greatest beat-maker of all-time. But then he hit that cliche' phase. And this cliche' phase killed me. I actually stopped messin with Prim for a while. A Primo track, was no different than hearing one of those cliche' Neptunes tracks back in the day. It was a scary time.
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Look, just based on what Primo did in 1994-95, how important that was, how he, in effect, ran the offense for the whole frikkin East Coast!!!! Just based on that, I know it's hard for people reconcile him being this low on the list. But before you judge, check my arguments for the top 2.
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2. Doctor Andre: There is no man more capable of residing over the production of album. No one better at it. Dre is the illest dude in front of a control board, crafting an album for the artist he's working with. His drawback is that, compared to these other niggas on the list -- especially Pete, Primo, Dilla and the No. 1 nigga -- Dre isnt as ill of beat maker. Don't get me wrong, he's sick, just not as sick. I mean, Primo is like AIDS, Dre is like syphylis.
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When you here people say things like, "I'm in the studio working with Dre on my new album," you gotta admit that you think to yourselves that there's little possibility that album ends up being 1.) loose, directionless and pointless with wack beats. 2.) It won't sell.
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Even though Dre and Rakim don't exactly sound like perfect match ala Dilla-Common -- niggas knew that Dre would have Rakim releasing a "tight" album, as in tight and crisp and complete and well-directed, plus it'd have dope beats.
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Here's what puts Dre over Primo, even though Prim is a 10 on the Beatmakers Index and Dre is 8.8-9.2. Dre didn't just give niggas tracks. Dre produced whole albums and he's sort of like Dean Smith, in that his underlings end up being the biggest stars in all of hiphop. If there's a Godfather in hiphop, I think it's Dre. If there's a Quincy Jones in a hophop studio, I think it's Dre.
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Dre gave the hop Snoop, Eminem, 50 Cent and The Game.
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Now, none of those dudes created TRULY classic albums that tru hop niggas revere, but you can't escape the fact that theyre four of the biggest hop acts in the modern era, and i guarantee they wouldnt be without Dre.
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This doesn't even factor in how he was at the center of Pac's leap. Pac was always popular, but California Love and All Eyez on Me raised his stakes.
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And that doesnt even get at the fact that Dre was the principal creator of NWA, which u might say created the West Coast sound.
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Here's the test -- take an artist that you wouldnt associate with Primo or Dre, someone like Royce da 5'9 or Lil Wayne or Juelz Santana. Now do you really believe they'd make a better album with Primo than they would with Dre. I don't think so. I think Dre is more methodical, more diverse and -- in the end -- a better producer. Primo would have Lil Wayne spittin over beats that sound like "MCs Act Like They Don't Know", and that'd be cool and all, the beats would bang...but Dre would take Lil Wayne's steez and make beats and direct and album that would be the best of Wayne's career. That's what Dre does. He's not only a genius, he's hiphops most fool-proof guarantee that your album will be well made.
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1. Robert Steels: If you noticed, what i said about Dre wasn't exactly reverential. I didn't have any stories about the first time I heard him, none of that. I didn;t say anything about how The Chronic was a landmark or how his taking The Parliament's P-Funk and turned it into G-Funk. That's because I wasn;t really a huge fan of Dre's music. My reason behind him at #2 was pragmatic and calculated. It's all based on how he gets down in a studio and how he's the surest hands to put your career and/or album in. (And, in the end, he does make dope beats, just not to my greatest liking). In a way, I keep asking myself, if Dre is the greatest of all producers, in the sense of the title "producer" that we've been dealing with for this list.
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But he's not the greatest. Rza is.
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More so than any of these dudes, I think niggas bite Rza the most. That sped up sample of someone singing that Kanye employs so much. Rza coined that. Those odd, viedo game sounds that Dilla uses in some of his far-out tracks, Rza started that.
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And Rza created, developed and patented Wu-Tang. To me, that makes him not only the best producer of the modern-era, but the most important.
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I think the Wu put NYC on the map, more than Biggie and Nas put together. Maybe it was the simple fact that they had 9 emcees, but maybe it was the fact that they were so gangsta. See, West Coast took over because they invaded hiphop not only with a gangsta-steez, but bravado and machismo. Nas couldnt put NYC on the map because he wasnt popular enough and he wasn't hard enough -- he was too substantial for that, too busy being a sociologist and we love him for it. Biggie was definitely popular and gangsta, but he had Puff with him. They wanted zero beef with Pac and the West on wax. Wu Tang, on the other hand, was reckless. They scared niggas. They were cool with Pac and Cube and MC Eight and niggas from the West, but if the steez wouldve flipped and they'd have been at odds, they wouldve broght the ruckus. I mean, think about the songs on 36 Chambers and think about the videos. They were menacing, but in an authentic, genuine way...it didnt feel contrived or purposely shocking like Onyx.
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And at the healm of that Wu project was the Rza, that is an unquestioned fact. He made every beat and the Wu sound started with the music. It was dank, it was eery, it was scary, it reckless, it was rambunctious, it was refelctive, it was groovin, it was just way too many things for my young, 14-year-old ears. And who doubts that Rza was the dude that came up with the idea of the chorus for "Bring the Ruckus" or "Wu Tang Ain't Nuttin to F*** With"? And don't think for a second that Rza dropping the track to just a rumbling bass before each verse didn't add to the drama of that record.
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When have you ever heard a beat like Mystery of Chessboxing? When, for that matter, have u heard a beat like the one Rza laced for "M E T H O D Man"? Do you think it was anyone else's idea to record Proteck Ya Kneck without a chorus? Did we ever hear a track like "All So Simple"? I'm seriously racking my brain and I can't think of anything that sounded even remotely similar. That album was just so new. Rza was actually breaking new groung. Not to mention, it could have unraveled thanks to, like, nine (essentially) solo acts forming a group. 36 was the most important album of the modern era and it was 60% Rza. In fact, no producer was more important to a project that Rza was to 36.
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Then he went on a produced all the Wu solo spinoffs that continued to propel East Coast hop. From Tical to Cuban to Liquid to Iron Man to Return to 36.
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Like, if you take Guillotine or Glaciers of the Cuban Linx album and Brooklyn Zoo and Shimmy Ya off Dirty's Return to 36 album -- I think you could make an argument that no producer made beats that sounded as disparate or new.' For instance Shimmy used a piano riff that was tinkling, with a shuffling snare and groovin bass line. Brooklyn zoo was classic Wu, it sounded like a basement, the piano was real heavy and ominous -- once again, it was that threatning, truly gangsta ish that Wu was on. Guillotine was that Rza track with the odd sounds, in this case some type of distrted violin and that head nod drum rythm. And I'm not really prepared to breakdown Shadowboxing off the Liquid album, from the haunting flute to the sped-up sample of the woman singing "oh man", it was as vile as they come.
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And we havent even gotten into the whole Kung-Fu flick ingredient in these songs and on these albums. Where did that come from?
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When people drop pieces of famous movies or obscure monologues on their records, that's Wu-influence, and that is, essentially, Rza-influence.
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One other thing that illustrates Rza's importance and excellence happened in 2000. In 1997 Wu dropped Wu-Tang Forever. Rza didn't miss a beat. It was actually a better album than 36, just not as important. But after Forever, Rza produced most of Tical:2000, another impeccably produced album. But in 1999, the masses awaited Rae's follow up to Cuban Linx, maybe the Clan's illest effort. He hit us with Immobilarity. I couldnt have been more dissapointed. I mean, it was NOWEHERE near the level of Cuban Linx. And I don't mean "it was really, really dope, but no Cuban Linx, because Cuban may be one of the 10 illest album ever"...naa, I mean it was just a good album and that's it. But it's easy to see why -- Rza didn;t produce it. Rza and Rae butted heads a lot and they were in the midst of a spat, supposedly, so Rae went with his own team of producers. They produced Wu-sounding tracks, but without Rza lording over the studio, it was a flat album. And it was like, "Oh no! Is the Wu over! Are they done!" That, after all, was their first album that wasnt really good. Even Dirty's "Nigga Please" album was a banger.
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But just when u thought the earth was gonna cave in, Rza gets in the studio and produces Ghost's "Supreme Clientele". That, along with "Fantastic Vol. 2" remain the dopest, most creative and most important albums of the Last Great Year of Hop. To me, Clientele was an obvious indication that Rza was unquestionably the driving force behind the Wu's prowess. Clientele was like a brief Wu rebirth that ended with The W, an downright dope album that niggas sleep on. On Clientele, it was like the Wu was back at it and it was all Rza...I mean, that was like two years after Tical:2000, and u really missed the Rza and then he came back blew ur brain out the back of ya head.
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Wu-Tang ruled hiphop for like 4 years. RULED IT! And they did it with commercial success and real music. That was all Rza.
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Rza created, maybe more than any other producer, a new sound for hiphop. He was truly creative. And even though niggas bite him, none have ever been able to emulate him. Noone has done to Rza was Dilla did to Pete Rock, it's impossible. I mean, this nigga is so cold, he writes scores to movies.
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And I once sipped Don Perignon with Rza at concert. For that and his immense, never-before genius, he is modern hiphop's Greatest Producer Ever.