Phrases That Payses

Phrases that Payses are things me and my crew come up with, or underground slanguage that most aren't familiar with. I'll periodically explain them here for your sake. Treat this as, sort of , Vince's abridged dictionary.


Make Me Hot

Heard first on Little Brother's debut album, The Listening. It was a skit where Pooh impersonates a bunch of artists that come to LB's super-producer 9th wonder askin him to produce hot beats for them to spit wack lyrics over. The sentiment being that these wacksters want 9th to, in effect, make them hot, since it's not at all rare for producers to turn average to below average emcess into stars or bestsellers or relevant artsist: Swizz and Cassidy; Timberland and everyone; Pharell and everyone; Primo and Malachi; JD and Baatin...etc.

Well you can use this phrase in many ways, most commonly, a woman wanting amna to make her hot, specifically some lame broad trying to grab some dude's coat tails...or vice versa. Or maybe an ugly girl hangin with the hot girl to get attention-crumbs. or maybe a bad writer latching on to a great great editor. if the writer turns in crap and the editor molded it into a printable story, then that editor made the writer hot.

Big His Britches

When ever someone gets too big for the britches, you can use this as a transitive verb. Our parents used to say "Jump bad". Here's a scenario: Some dude is talkin mad junk on the court -- he's biggin his britches. Some dude is trying to clown you or son you in front of peers or women, you can say "Yo, don't be tryin' to big your britches with me, dude."

The Couch Test

You have certain men that call every woman that passes by, "hot" or oggle each and every skirt in a room. These men usually like to say things like,

"Yo sun, check that girl out. Yo, I'm tryn'a to get at that."

Or

"Geez dude, look at her. Geez Vince, she's hot. Right?"

Most of the time, I reply with apathy. But don't get me wrong. Some girls are attarctive, some girls are unattractive and others pass The Couch Test.

The Couch Test is simple: If a woman is sitting on The Couch with you (both sober) and it won't take much coersion, on her part, for you two to go all the way (I'm trying to keep this language and imagery chaste for my Mom). For instance, someone that you're just not attarcted to, could be on The Couch (remember you're both sober), going hard and you might hit her with a "thanks, but no thanks". On the other end of the sprectrum are women who you're attracted to. For that we have a phrase, "She won't even get to The Couch."

"I Brush My Teeth with (blank)"

This is a very versatile phrase that I employ often. As in, "Vince, do you like ranch dressing?" To which I would reply, "What? Man, I brush my teeth with ranch dressing."

The phrase is to be used to describe something you have such an affinity for that you would use it to perform trivial tasks and even tasks essential to your vitality and social acceptance, because you want whatever it is you're talking about to be involved in every aspect of your life...which is how I feel about ranch dressing.

Or maybe I'm a car fanatic and when speaking of a muscle car I'd say, "I brush my teeth with a V-8 engine."

I also brush my teeth with Eva Mendez, Curb Your Enthusiasm, a mean jazz arrangement, Spike Lee Joints, Vanity Fair magazine, Washington DC and Makers Mark whiskey...to name a few things.