Twistinado

Come here when you wanna know what to think about your life and the world you live in. I know everything and nothing, at the same time.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Book Nerds are Shallow

I loved this essay in the Sunday Times about deal-breakers for book lovers. It's called "It's Not You, It's Your Book." It begins: "Some years ago, I was awakened early one morning by a phone call from a friend. She had just broken up with a boyfriend she still loved and was desperate to justify her decision. “Can you believe it!” she shouted into the phone. “He hadn’t even heard of Pushkin!”"

I found that hilarious, telling, pathetic and enviable all at once. In the next graf, the essayist, a book lover, sates: "Anyone who cares about books has at some point confronted the Pushkin problem: when a missed — or misguided — literary reference makes it chillingly clear that a romance is going nowhere fast."

Or there was this nugget later in the essay, from Augusten Burroughs, the gay-blade that wrote Running With Scissors. I've never read the book, but adore the film, which, I'm sure, makes me a rube. But check one of his recollections: "The author recalled a date with one Michael, a “robust blond from Germany.” As he walked to meet him outside Dean & DeLuca, “I saw, to my horror, an artfully worn, older-than-me copy of ‘Proust’ by Samuel Beckett.” That, Burroughs claims, was a deal breaker. “If there existed a more hackneyed, achingly obvious method of telegraphing one’s education, literary standards and general intelligence, I couldn’t imagine it.”"

All of this is quite humbling, since I'm a very proud non-book reader. I read newspapers and magazine, neve finding the time to read books. Well, actually, I have no inclination to read books. I guess that my own personal symptom of growing up in the ADD Age. A book is too daunting, time consuming. They're also somewhat pompous and self-serious. But I admire book readers. They're cool to me. Not cool as in: "Yeah, dude is aight." Cool as in: "I wish I was a book reader." And, in all honesty, I could totally see some potential main-squeeze kicking me to the curb because I'm an ignoramous when it comes to novels. I had to google and then wiki Pushkin. I've never had any desire to read Proust. This usually surprises people when they find out that I'm a writer, but that's the reality. I'll read non-fiction, but films satisfy my fiction jones.

I identify with these kind of people, however, because I'm a music snob. On a fundamental level, I would probably never fall in love with someone that isn't passionate about their music. Or, someone with poor, schumck-tastes in artists and albums -- I'd probably sabotage that kind of relationship. A lightweight music head can head for the next lame. "You never heard Fullfillingness First Finale?! Peace." "You think jazz is boring?! Bye." "You don't wanna go see Bilal?! I'll call you a cab." That's me, in a nutshell...I'm serious.

The irony in all this is that the book and music snobs have these deal breakers and go around sifting and filtering relationships, based on some deviant notion that they are ensuring that they link up with someone of similar heft, depth and gravitas. But the mere fact that we're using entertainment (books, music) as a barometer or litmus test is as shallow as it gets.

Leave it to someone from the Daily Show to sum it up best: "If that person slept with the novelist in question, that would probably be a deal breaker — more than, ‘I don’t like Don DeLillo, therefore we’re not dating anymore.’”"

Monday, March 24, 2008

Mekhi Martin, my new neph

This is a bit belated, but props, 'spect and love to my dude and new nephew Mekhi, born earlier in March. Lil' man is a champ. Here's to hoping that he grows up to be a better ball player than his Pops. (Dubb, remember how you and Freeze used to shoot sideways?! Ha.)

Nothing like a new member of the Extended Fam. Don't hurt 'em Khi.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Wire: An Appreciation

I don't necessarily have a Favorite Show Of All Time. A lot of shows contend for that spot: Cosby Show, Different World, Seinfeld, 24, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Lost, Sopranos, Six Feet Under...and The Wire. Here's what I do know, however, that (with apologies to Six Feet Under and Lost) The Wire is the greatest television show of my lifetime. In fact, it's not as close as folks would think. I'm saying that The Wire is clearly, conspicuously, the greatest show to ever grace television screens since March 6, 1979.

Two Sundays ago, the show ended amidst critical praise and cultish devotion; but relative anonymity. Millions and millions of Americans tune in to watch tripe like ER -- or even American Idol, for that matter -- but if you were standing in a room of 1,000 folks, Nielson ratings show that only 3 or 4 other folks, on average, would have seen The Wire.

How is this possible? How could so few people tune in to view the greatest and most compelling dramatic series of the past 30 years? Here in Buffalo, I had two, maybe 3 people that I knew, who dug the Wire. In NYC, that number ballooned significantly. All my SLAM co-workers were Wire nuts, I used to eavesdrop on Wire conversations. Same thing for my time in DC. But while in Florida? Nothing. My friend Maese was in Buff a few weeks ago. He's a columnist for the Baltimore Sun. he says that The Wire is a constant topic of conversation amongst Sun newsies (inevitably because a major story line from this season deals with the Sun, the former employer of the show's creator and principle creative mind, David Simon); but Rick said that his friends back in his hometown of Albuquerque are completely oblivious. Forget, for a moment, that folks from Albuquerque are oblivious to a whole bunch, a recognize that it's a sizable city and metro area, yet, The Wire isn't even a blip on its Desperate housewives radar. That's similar to how I feel here in Buff, which is troubling, since Buff is the same blue-collar city as BMore, with a similar type of drug-trade, crime-rate and poverty level. The Wire should resonate incredibly in Buff, yet I wouldn't even think to bring up The Wire in a random conversation with a patron at the bar. They'd be like, "The What?"

It's funny, because, in 2004, I spent a summer in Atlanta, interning as a journalist for the Atlanta Journal Constitution. The office is located in downtown Atlanta, a few blocks from Broad St., a sweet little city block of restaurants and lunch spots, close to cars, strictly for pedestrians and hungry Atlanta employees. I used to hit Rosa's all the time. It was NY Style pizzeria and the line was usually out the door. You had to shout your order and then move down the line, get to the cash register, pay your money and then wait a little while longer for your slices or calzone or roll to come out the oven. One day, that summer, in mid-June, I believe it was a Monday or Tuesday, I was in Rosa's waiting on my slice and these clowns in front of me were yapping about the previous Sunday's Sopranos. I hadn't seen that episode, yet. So I put my hands over my ears and started singing some type of nursery rhyme. I probably looked and sounded like a fool. Unfortunately, I didn't do this until one of the dumbies said something about "I can't believe what happened to Adriana." So, of course, I watched that episode waiting to see what happened to Adriana. Of course, it happened to be the episode where they wacked her. I was consistently missing Sopranos episodes that season and this was before I had Tivo or DVR, so I used to tread lightly, wherever I was at, guarding against hearing any tidbits about the previous week's Sopranos. But that's what you had to do with the Sopranos. it was a water cooler show, so wherever you went, you were likely to hear random people discussing the past episode.

That NEVER happened with The Wire --EVER. I couldve gone the past 3 months and still not know that Omar was merked by a sniffling little punk or that Clay Davis got off. I never heard anyone randomly talking about Bodie getting shot or McNulty boning a woman on a car hood or Rawls getting scoped in gay-bar.

The only time The Wire was a topic of random, public conversation was the days after Stringer met his death. I remember that night. I was staying with my boys in DC during that season.. It was between internships in Atl and Orlando and I had returned to my evening shift at the Washington Post. I used to come home late Sunday -- actually Monday morning -- and me and my nigga Gee would watch the show when it showed up on On Demand. Gee said nothing to me before we began the episode, he just has a stupid smirk on his face. That whole season, me and the crew had heated arguments about the divergence of Stringer and Avon. Anyone who watched the show since it's beginning had fondness for the Stringer-Avon bond. But when Avon went to jail and Stringer took a greater hold of the cartel, it became clear that they weren't two thugs of the same cloth. Avon loved the game and recognized his limitations, that he was kingpin within the game but not necessarily built for the same type of success outside of the game. Stringer looked at the game as a means to an end and he saw the end in sight and was trying to persuade Avon to a more legitimate means. Stringer had always been my favorite character on the Wire, my boys typically dug Avon. By the time Stringer started angling for Avon's imprisonment and Avon gave up Stringer to enemies, it was clear "something" was gonna go down, but I never expected for Stringer to take that kind of L. There was definite justice in his demise -- getting gunned down by two people that he dealt the most grimy with -- but I had begun to think of Stringer, not McNulty, as the show's central character. it was unthinkable that Simon and Burns would kill him off for good, but they did. That was the beauty of the show, not the more metaphorical and abstract complexities and depth of the show -- that stuff was compelling and incomparable as well -- but, at the end of the day, it was just an exciting and dramatic hour of television, every week.

Of course, to boil it down to just that is definitely somewhat trivial. The Wire, afterall, was the most stark, realistic, true, honest, poignant depiction of urban America that we've ever seen. What makes it even more significant is that this played out over 8 years in more than 50 hours of film. This wasn't a three-hour epic that focused on one very concentrated, finite theme, like Do The Right Thing or Boys In The Hood or Mean Street or whatever....this was a slow-moving, deeply-profound series of complex and varied themes and stories that offered a panoramic, yet, acute view of the urban American landscape.

Think about all the characters and all the sectors of the urban America that they hit: schools, law enforcement, single parent homes, drug addiction amongst parents, drug addiction period, the media, politics, the absence of black male role models, peer-pressure, etc. A lot of these topics sound very surface and cliche, but The Wire actually "went in" on these topics. Because it's hard for me to explain how/why this show addressed these topics in a ground-breaking manner, let me just give you some bullets on certain characters, themes, moments or episodes that were especially compelling...

--- The Kids. The kids really resonated with me. I have a special affinity for young black youth, mostly because I grew up in -- in the context of the back community -- privileged circumstances, what with two parents, food, shelter and God. But when you grow up in that environment, surrounded by less fortunate peers, it makes an impression on you.

The most compelling moment of any of the kids story wasn;t when Dukie was seen on a drug corner at the end of Season 4 (depressing) or shooting up heroine in the series finale (made me put both palms on top of my head, let out an audible groans and tear up) or when Michael couldn't remember the piss-balloons (somewhat unbelievable, but still emotional) or when Randy sat in a hospital, bloody, goading Carver for his broken promises (scary)....the most compelling moment was actually a collection of moments, call it a story arch and it began when Namond had former Lt. Colvin take him home after a near-brush with a stay in a juvie dentention center. Colvin dropped him off at the steps of his crib, his mother opened the door, slapped Namond upside his head and began emasculating him about his fear and aversion to spending time in juvie. Apparently he was a woos and had no honor because he b*tched up at this prospect. yet, Namond had, on countless occasions, told his effed up Moms that he wasn;t his father. His father was Wee-Bey, Avon's No. 1 source of muscle and one of my all-time favorite characters on The Wire. Namond's Moms wanted Avon to be like his father, "a soldier" as she would say. Colvin saw something in Namond and knew that his Moms was pushing him down an unwanted path. Namond's Moms was forcing this young man on the street to go make the family money, enough dough to maintain their hood-rich lifestyle. this wasn't make-believe, there are slews of former drug-dealers-girlfriends and drug-dealers-wives that ask the same of pre-teen, early-teen sons. They think it's honorable and warranted. It's a warped world. When Colvin recognized that Namond was allergic and downright scared and unequipped for this life, he went to Wee-Bey, in jail, and asked if Namond could move in with him. In one of the next episodes, you Namond's moms talking to Wee-bey in jail, spouting some garbage about how she wants Namond to be "a soldier", how it's in his blood. Wee-Bey responded (and I'm paraphrasing) "The man (Colvin) say the boy could be whatever he want a be, a doctor, a lawyer..." I was struck by that moment because that kind of hope is nonexistent in the community. It was bittersweet, then, when we saw Namond winning a high school debate, the surrogate child of a loving home. He was clearly on his way to great, productive, non-street things. Meanwhile, Randy had turned into an ornery thug in the foster system. Dukie was days away from getting strung out on heroine, living with hobos after an unsuccessful afternoon of trying to land a job, and Michael had turned into a serial killler. that's what these street-muscle dudes are, they're serial killers. I think that The Kids illustrated, better than any other story arch, why the hood is the way it is. it's cyclical and influenced. Boot-strap rhetoric has no home in the hood -- often.


--- I wonder how many of you out here think that Barack Obama is anything but a politician, that he's he's different, that he will "change" things. I wonder if his rhetoric inspires you. I'm not here to rain on anyone's parade; and you all know that I have no political affiliation (might sound hokey, but I vote for God)...but as smooth and oratorial (word?) that Obama is, dude is a politician. he ain't wholly different, he just speaks better and has a different set of pipe dreams. I like Obama, I find him riveting and Pops and I just had a discussion about how he might be a tad more principled than your average Washington-sullied sleazeball, but dude is a politician.

I hated Mayor Carcetti, seriously. From the jump, I knew he was man on a mission and all the rhetoric and righteous-indignation he feigned would be exposed at some point. Season 5 was did a good job sof showing how these politicians abandon promises in order to garner re-elections or, in Carcetti's case, to salvage or, perhaps, develop ties and bridges that will help them into more prestigious offices. yet, The Wire, as always, did this in such a 3-dimensional manner, because, for everyone duplicitous decision that Carcetti made, i saw "why" he did and it never seemed entirely devious or negligent. What it cast a bright light on was the nature of politics and how city governments have so much to do with power, leverage, self-interest and straight-up political devices; maybe even more so than it has to do with serving a constituency. In a very warped and deviant way, the dirty Clay Davis was a more loyal and concerned politican than Carcetti. Now that's powerful.

--- I saw Omar in Gone Baby Gone, that Affleck-directed, Boston-based film noir. When he popped up on screen, the word homosexual did not pop in my mind, his sawed-off shotgun did. Omar is also in the new Sheek Louch video and a host of others. These rappers don't look at him as a homo-thug, they look at that character as a cold-blooded gangsta. I think too much was stock was put into how much Omar advanced the notion of homosexuality within the black community, a community where a black male is still inclined to call a gay man "faggot" or beat him with a pipe if the gay man accidentally hits on him. I think that The Wire did Omar's character justice by not overplaying his homosexuality. that's what a lesser show would have done. We'd have seen Omar blowin some light skin fairy's back out every episode, or walking with a switch, etc. Oh, believe me, we saw enough. I had to cover my eyes more than once when he went in to slide his lizard tongue in some man's mouth, but the central theme to Omar's story -- what couldve been overshadowed by placing too much emphasis on his sexual orientation -- was the fact that Omar was like the show's moral code. A killing-spree stick up man was the most poignant manifestation of right-and-wrong. that's dope to me. he was reckless, fearless, heartless and gay; but at the end of the day, he was stick-up man with a God Complex. I truly believe he felt he was meting out just punishment. I'm gonna miss that dude.

-- If there is indeed a Wire movie in the works, I'm most anxious to see what comes of Michael. it was easy to see that, as Seasons 4 and 5 progressed, he was developing the same street code as Omar. So when we say him with sawed off, jackin' niggas, it was surprising, but logical. What's too bad is that he had such a big heart and was such a compassionate cat. He couldve been a great husband and father. Instead he's destined to father several illegitimate kids and be a virtually absent social and familial presence in a community that sorely needs him. It's sad.

--- And, finally, Marlo. I don't wish people harm...but I'll say this, all season I wished him a slow-death.

All-in-all, I'mma miss this show, a show me and my nigs started watching on an HBO-whim. It was like, "Well, even though it seems like another trite cop show, where the boys in blue hunt down the young black criminals, it's HBO, so it has to be good." And it was -- exceedingly. I look across the television landscape these days and no show comes even remotely close to depicting this ignored sector of American society, at all, let alone as wonderfully and epic as The Wire did.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Spitzer and 'Stutes

'Stutes is one of my favorite abbreviations of all-time. I think my man Frank came up with it back in the late-90s when my crew and I had virtually invented a brand new language. We basically spoke in a code. Ugly women were "doctors", man-balls were "monials", dudes were "emcees"...there were a host of other gems. But "'stute" was easy and grand. You could break it out in front of grown-ups and attitudinal females and it'd almost always float right past their ears without notice and we'd get a good chuckle. Plus, it's just fun to say -- go on, say it: Stute. Make sure you hyper-pronounce the Ts. Comedy.

Anyways, Monday, I came home, flicked on CNN to catch some Lou Dobbs-curmodgeonity about Mexicans and recessions and got a buncha sex-talk. Apparently our good govenor of New York State was buying stutes from NYC and transporting them to DC for periodic trysts.

As the kids would say: OMG!!!! AYS?!?!?! (that's "are you serious" right?) ICBT!!!! (I can't believe that) TINF!!!!! (This is nuckin futs!).

I was shocked and appalled...well, actually, I was amused and surprised at all.

I don't really have anything insightful to say on this subject or "scandal", but I'll simply ask this: If you take every govenor, the mayor of the country's 50 biggest cities and the male members of Senate and Congress, i would shocked into cardiac arrest if less than 90% of them had 1.) extra-marrital affairs; 2.) bought some high-=price stutes.

To me, it's utterly ridiculous to act surprised when we learn that these men are tipping out on their wives. It's just what they do. That's like part of what being a man in a position of political power involves. You can be an ungly, neandrathal looking schmuck like Spitzer, but have the connect and dough to pay for a 'stute like "Kristen". By the way, I saw her pic on Radar magazine's website...she's pretty cute. I was expecting your garden variety, shapless white woman. She was not that.

Look, I'm a Christian dude...so my moral standards are stringent. I don;'t advocate or even apologize for adulterers...but i'm also aware. Spitzer had that sack-of-bones-wife with her coiffed wig and cold womb laying next to him every night, of course that crooked dude was gonna buy some fresh skin for his stays in DC! And so do his peers.

Here's what I don't understand...let's forget for a moment the extreme hypocrisy on his part (he was a crusader for anti sex-trade laws), let's just talk about the reality: all politicians are unfaithful...so why should this dude step down? I watching CNN and a lawyer said that if Spitzer were prosecuted, it'd be the same level misdemeanor as a speeding-ticket (the kind that suspends a license). I guess it's the don't-get-caught thing, huh? You can't be a "known" adulterer and hold a public office. Aight. I mean, at the end of the day, dude is wrong and deserves punishment...i just think it's unfair that his peers probably had some 'stutes heels to the ceiling that same night and they'll serve out their useless terms scott-free.

Here's what I'd love to see, however: a female senator or Mayor, outed for buying male-escorts. Whatever happened to Women's Lib?

Twist is back...

Please forgive the absence. I blame it on my laptop. It's been down for quite some time and it makes instant blogging a problem. Anyways...if you haven't gotten the e-mails, i'm grinding out an embryonic tel;evision presence lately. Below you can find the YouTube links to a few ESPN appearances. Check em out if you haven't already. In the meantime, let me get to writing a few novel-blogs...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6Ozhel2mHc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEr_qGKOjeU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGC6Uogbikw