Spitzer and 'Stutes

'Stutes is one of my favorite abbreviations of all-time. I think my man Frank came up with it back in the late-90s when my crew and I had virtually invented a brand new language. We basically spoke in a code. Ugly women were "doctors", man-balls were "monials", dudes were "emcees"...there were a host of other gems. But "'stute" was easy and grand. You could break it out in front of grown-ups and attitudinal females and it'd almost always float right past their ears without notice and we'd get a good chuckle. Plus, it's just fun to say -- go on, say it: Stute. Make sure you hyper-pronounce the Ts. Comedy.

Anyways, Monday, I came home, flicked on CNN to catch some Lou Dobbs-curmodgeonity about Mexicans and recessions and got a buncha sex-talk. Apparently our good govenor of New York State was buying stutes from NYC and transporting them to DC for periodic trysts.

As the kids would say: OMG!!!! AYS?!?!?! (that's "are you serious" right?) ICBT!!!! (I can't believe that) TINF!!!!! (This is nuckin futs!).

I was shocked and appalled...well, actually, I was amused and surprised at all.

I don't really have anything insightful to say on this subject or "scandal", but I'll simply ask this: If you take every govenor, the mayor of the country's 50 biggest cities and the male members of Senate and Congress, i would shocked into cardiac arrest if less than 90% of them had 1.) extra-marrital affairs; 2.) bought some high-=price stutes.

To me, it's utterly ridiculous to act surprised when we learn that these men are tipping out on their wives. It's just what they do. That's like part of what being a man in a position of political power involves. You can be an ungly, neandrathal looking schmuck like Spitzer, but have the connect and dough to pay for a 'stute like "Kristen". By the way, I saw her pic on Radar magazine's website...she's pretty cute. I was expecting your garden variety, shapless white woman. She was not that.

Look, I'm a Christian dude...so my moral standards are stringent. I don;'t advocate or even apologize for adulterers...but i'm also aware. Spitzer had that sack-of-bones-wife with her coiffed wig and cold womb laying next to him every night, of course that crooked dude was gonna buy some fresh skin for his stays in DC! And so do his peers.

Here's what I don't understand...let's forget for a moment the extreme hypocrisy on his part (he was a crusader for anti sex-trade laws), let's just talk about the reality: all politicians are unfaithful...so why should this dude step down? I watching CNN and a lawyer said that if Spitzer were prosecuted, it'd be the same level misdemeanor as a speeding-ticket (the kind that suspends a license). I guess it's the don't-get-caught thing, huh? You can't be a "known" adulterer and hold a public office. Aight. I mean, at the end of the day, dude is wrong and deserves punishment...i just think it's unfair that his peers probably had some 'stutes heels to the ceiling that same night and they'll serve out their useless terms scott-free.

Here's what I'd love to see, however: a female senator or Mayor, outed for buying male-escorts. Whatever happened to Women's Lib?