There Are No Blind Women
I've never seen a blind woman in my life. Wait, scratch that, I've never seen a blind woman younger than 85, in my life. I'm serious.
The other day, I helped a middle-age man onto the campus shuttle after he beat the snot of my shins with his walking stick. He sat once on the bus and thanked me. It was all good. This was not the first time I helped a blind person. Being blind, is the illest ailment of them all, downright debilitating. When I see a blind person, I'm always taken back with sympathy. I can't imagine what it'd be like. And their images usually stay with me for some time. This is all to say that, for the life of me, I cannot recall one single image of a female ages 1-day to 84-years walking with a blind-stick. Makes me think that the whole Hellen Keller thing is a humungi lie. She might have been deaf and mute, but I'm calling that broad's bluff on being blind. She saw that wall she banged into. She also saw the mess she made when she'd knock over her porridge in disabled frustration.
Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Marcus Roberts -- these are men. If there was such a thing as a blind, pre-senior female, one of them birds would be bangin out some killer chords on a Moog. You notice how well Al Pacino played that blind man in Scent of a Woman? That's because he tapped into his masculine genetic predisposition to possibly being blind. On the other hand, Kerry Washington played a horrendous version of a blind woman in Fantastic Four. This wasn't because she was a poor actress, it's because that's like asking an Asian to play a believable role in a film about pick-up basketball -- genetically (and theoretically) impossible.
I don't know why woman aren't able to get blind. But I figure it's similar to how men can't catch fun-bag cancer. Isn't it fair how these things even out?
I mean, yes, men don't have to carry 8-lb kids in their wombs. But then again, women never have to worry about the gift of sight, until they hit 85. And that's the hotness, because being blind sucks. Have you ever seen a blind man crossing busy intersections? Or walking into snow banks? Or caning a pile of dung, only to sidestep into a puddled pot-hole? That ish is for the birds....well, technically, i guess it isn't.
The other day, I helped a middle-age man onto the campus shuttle after he beat the snot of my shins with his walking stick. He sat once on the bus and thanked me. It was all good. This was not the first time I helped a blind person. Being blind, is the illest ailment of them all, downright debilitating. When I see a blind person, I'm always taken back with sympathy. I can't imagine what it'd be like. And their images usually stay with me for some time. This is all to say that, for the life of me, I cannot recall one single image of a female ages 1-day to 84-years walking with a blind-stick. Makes me think that the whole Hellen Keller thing is a humungi lie. She might have been deaf and mute, but I'm calling that broad's bluff on being blind. She saw that wall she banged into. She also saw the mess she made when she'd knock over her porridge in disabled frustration.
Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Marcus Roberts -- these are men. If there was such a thing as a blind, pre-senior female, one of them birds would be bangin out some killer chords on a Moog. You notice how well Al Pacino played that blind man in Scent of a Woman? That's because he tapped into his masculine genetic predisposition to possibly being blind. On the other hand, Kerry Washington played a horrendous version of a blind woman in Fantastic Four. This wasn't because she was a poor actress, it's because that's like asking an Asian to play a believable role in a film about pick-up basketball -- genetically (and theoretically) impossible.
I don't know why woman aren't able to get blind. But I figure it's similar to how men can't catch fun-bag cancer. Isn't it fair how these things even out?
I mean, yes, men don't have to carry 8-lb kids in their wombs. But then again, women never have to worry about the gift of sight, until they hit 85. And that's the hotness, because being blind sucks. Have you ever seen a blind man crossing busy intersections? Or walking into snow banks? Or caning a pile of dung, only to sidestep into a puddled pot-hole? That ish is for the birds....well, technically, i guess it isn't.
posted by Twistinado @ 3:12 PM
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