Stuff Vince Does and Doesn't Like

I told you that I was gonna have my won personal response to the websites Stuff Educated Black People Like and Stuff White People Like. They're my two favorite websites on the Internet right now and I wish they were like some of these other blogs that update multiple times per day. Anyways, as I went through both sites, I found instances where I thought, "Yep, I'm definitely on some EBP steez right there" and other instances where the EBP rhetoric was insufferable. That's been somewhat of an insecurity of mine. You all know that buppies irritate the snot outta my nostrils, but, in so many ways, I'm a true-blue buppie. For a dude that grew up in a working class family on Buffalo's crack infested eastside, I don't know if that's an accomplishment or an indictment. What I do know is that buppies/EBP can be a hoe-azz sect when they wanna be.

I've also tended to be a black dude that could identify with a certain type of white person, mostly the kind of white person describe in hilarious satire on the Stuff White People like blog. I found my self scouring that list and mostly thinking either, "Yep, I love that or feel that way, too" or "yep, i love those kind of white people." I'm a fan of two types of Caucos 1.) hard-partying manics; and mostly, 2.) liberal, semi-gult-ridden whites that are hip enough to know that white people aren't hip. It's #2 that gets extensive insight from the SWP blog.

Anyways, this just might be what I needed to get my own blog poppin again, a jumpin off point for some thoughts, anecdotes, etc...I wanna begin by lookin at the first 5 items from the EBP website...

1. Fraternities and Sororities -- I have very close friends, both male and female that are Greek and I spent much of my early 20s, my first years in DC, railing against the Greek culture in the most obnoxious way possible -- whether that be purposely standing in the way of their ridiculous and stupid souped-up conga lines or getting thrown out of a Homecoming step-show for being a disruptive, drunk-jerk -- so I don't wanna start spewing any vitriol, here. But, I'll never forget how startling it was to see how omnipresent Greeks were at HBCUs. I spent my first few college years reading novels at University of Buffalo, a large state school with a predominatly-cauco student body. Blacks were a real minority, BLGOs (Black Greek letter organizations) were an even smaller minority. When I went to a college party, Qs weren't crawling on the floor and barking like dogs. And most of my disdain for BLGOs was the notion that I ascribe to it, the notion that most of the pledges were sheep that used these organizations to attract friends and be apart of something. Followers have always annoyed me and, to me, frat boys were the quintessential followers. As I've grown older, I see the good and benefit of BLGOs, but only the grown-adult portion of it. College-age greeks still get the gas-face.

2. Neo Soul -- Here's a portion of what the blog said: "Neo Soul music makes educated black people feel like they are getting in on music that regular blacks don’t know about. The most popular neo soul artist is Erykah Badu….even though some of us may feel she’s a little bit crazy. Some educated Blacks have distanced themselves from Ms. Badu because too many people know about her. Neo Soul allows these educated blacks to feel they are the only people who know about these artists and are the only ones educated enough to understand this music. Once an artist “catches on,” it’s time to move on to the next undiscovered talent." There is no greater EBP cliche and identifier than this music, to me. It rages with buppieness. But here's the thing, EBPs don't actually have good taste in music, they simply follow trends and attach themselves to what "seems" highbrow. That's why they can't tell the sonic difference of direction and quality between, say, India Arie and the new Badu. People don't understand this, but Badu really stopped making neo-soul after her first album, because she understood that the genre had become a cartoon. Same goes for D'Angelo. Neo-soul is for the Glen Lewises, it is the tired, musical carnation of No. 5 on this list, the hackneyed poetry slam. That's why I can't get down with a lot of EBPs. Neo-soul, however, is not the EBP equivalent to indie music. White people actually take their music seriously. The artist they like are musicians and actually write out substantial lyrics. They really do seek and search out hidden gems. That's not neo-soul. Neo-soul is basically just EBP pop music. I love Angie Stone, but Angie Stone is as much an EBP poster-girl as she is a great artist. Give me Georgia Anne Muldrow everyday and allday. Neo-soul is for squares.

3. Baked Chicken -- I didn't know this was an EBP thing. But I gotta admit, I'm a baked chicken dude, although I'll always enjoy a good piece of fried chicken, so long as you soak it in butter milk and coat it with a nice seasoned-flour. This is an excerpt of what the blog wrote: "Educated Black People have a more sophisticated taste. We like BAKED CHICKEN. Some even go so far as to use lemon pepper seasonings, but this is only for the upper echelon blacks with advanced degrees, so don’t try this at home if you only have an undergraduate degree. Now if you want to really show off your education, bake chicken breasts only! By eating baked chicken, we educated Blacks feel as though we are beyond the stigma of eating common fried chicken." Now, I believe that a good deal of the baked-preference is due to health concerns, which should be a greater premium in the black community. But, somehow, fried chicken did become the modern-watermelon in that it was used as the food-stereotype for niggas. More than anything, buppies and EBPs are image conscious and spend an inordinate amount of time and effort on distancing themselves from niggas theoretically and aesthetically. This would definitely mean getting your chicken fix -- because buppie niggas still love chicken -- without stooping to the perceived porch-monkey levels of frying the chicken. Of all EBP MOs, this baked chicken stance is one of the most trifling.

4. Natural Hair -- I love black woman that rock their hair natural. I think it's sexy, because, not only does it look hot, it also says a lot. I wrote this column about it when I was a young pup. I think it says it all...

5. Poetry Slams -- i HATE...let me repeat, HATE spoken word. It is the most cliche, hackneyed, imposter-portion of black culture right now. Spoken word and poetry slams are about 2 years away from caucos fully taking it over like they've done break-dancing...that's how bad it is. Every BS nigra thinks they can string together a few big words and spit them in the same exhausted staccatto/cadence and feign like they're sophisticated and above the nigger-fray. I liked this portion of the EBP blog: "It also allows us to show off our verbal rhythm, because true slampoets……..always…….talklikethis ……because if you don’t …..thenyouare …..a …..FAKE …..poet *thoughtful look*." I tried to watch Def poetry Jam last year and it was excruciating, like a construction worker was jack hammering my ballsack.