NBA Preview: Playoff predictions

Before I get into some rambling, biblical thoughts on the new season; let me just say that I've had up to here with cornrows. They are the new mullets and I'm championing a crusade against them, because black men can't be walking around with the equivalents of mullets. We already have gold fronts, 87-button suits and gators...let's let rednecks and hillbillies monopolize the game on once-faddish-cuts-turned-cultural-identifier-for-the-low-brows. I'm writing an essay on this that'll be posted on SLAM by week's end, I promise.

With that said...I was watching Inside the NBA last night and Chuck said that he's more excited about this season than any other season in his days as an analyst. And, word, I kinda agree with him. I've been shouting for a while that the NBA is either in the beginning stages or the very midst of a renaissance, a post-80s/MJ heyday for real fans -- I've called this era the Platinum Age. Crazy talent abounds, almost every squad is one trade or young-player-leap away from, at least, playoff contention...it's a great time, for true fans. But for a nigga like me, I also enter this season annoyed and afraid, for the Lakers, my favorite team (in all of sports, not just the NBA) is preparing to trade my favorite player, Kobe (this after years of me hating his MJ-cloned intestines). And on another coast, KG may finally be able to nab a ring, along two of my other favorite players, except their doing for a franchise that I hate for sports reasons, but, more importantly, for historical and social reasons. So, at the moment, I'm amped, but I'm also upset. Twist is so complex.

Let me start by droppin my playoff predictions (note,I'm seeding like the playoffs where each division leader is awarded one of the first three spots, even if there are other non-division-winners with better records:

WEST.

8. Memphis over Golden State: Given the way GState played against Dallas in last year's first round -- and during the latter part of the season -- everyone is still on the bandwagon. I'm officially off the bandwagon, although they remain one of my favorite squads in the league because they ball like a bunch of supremely-talented niggas mistaking the hardwood for the blacktop. I've always said I love cocksure and moxie and swagger and they got a lot of it. But they also have issues, namely health (B Eezy),; a hard-drinking coach who just might be the human personification of an impending-heart-attack; and the daunting task of no longer being a surprise. (Notice I didn't mention the fact that Stephen Jackson is a captain). Meanwhile, Memphis is lurkin like an assassin and only a few people are taking notice. Unlike GState, they are neither streaky, mercurial, nor gimmicky. I kinda think theyre strong and will prove to be ultra-consistent...remember, they were good for a guaranteed 48-52 wins for like 3 or 4 seasons in a row before the recent lottery seasons. Stoudamire holds things down while Conley matures. Rudy Gay is a year older. Gasol is healthy and has his compatriot (Navarro) with him...Milicic adds depth...I'm tellin you, don't sleep.

7. Either LA or New Orleans: I say that because I still don't know if Kobe is gonna play out the season. If he does and Mar comes back healthy, then LA is actually a better team than last year -- a year older, added Fish, Mihm comes back for some quality minutes. I'd pencil them in for 44-47 wins and a 7 or 8 seed. If not, I'm saying New Orleans because my mind tells me that they're ready, but my gut says they still aren't strong enough to weather a full season of the West into a playoff berth. But the addition of Mo Pete and a healthy Pedja definitely makes them a better squad..well see.

-- But at the end of the day, it's really about these next 6 teams, of which one will inevitably end up having a disappointing season, I'm just not sure which one.

6. Utah: Check this out, out of all the young stud big dudes, I'd take Boozer. Yep. Over Amare and Dwight and it's because Boozer actually knows how to play basketball. More on that later. I like this squad -- alot actually. And when I say i like them, I mean that I like their talent, because we all know that black men cannot root for Utah in good conscious, much like Duke, the Celtics and KKK Grand Wizards. But Utah looks really tough and deep and young, but smart young. And Kirilenko looks to be back to 04-05 form with that performance in the opener. Deron is sick like terminal cancer. And how much u wanna bet that Sloan doesn't smell like gin 24-7?

5. San Antonio: Doesn't matter though, right? They always pick it up during the playoffs. That's what we say (and btw, seeds 1-6 will all have 52-plus wins, so the Spurs will probably get 53 or 54 victs, but not the 60 they'll need to win the toughest division IN ALL OF SPORTS). Problem with this seed is that they'll be playing an ULTRA-TOUGH first round opponent. Seriously, all of these Western Contenders need to be gunning for a 1 or 2 seed or they could EASILY get bounced in the first round. The Spurs better not mess around too much.

4. Houston: Yao and Mac WILL get hurt and miss a combined 20 games, at least. it's in those two niggas contracts to go down with an injury during the season. Mac could sprain his brain drinkin a slurpee, real talk. Yao could break his index finger working some chopsticks. These niggas are in the biz of being gimpy. No way they both play 75 games this season, so I can't see them winning the division. But they most definitely scare me in the playoffs, but they're not TOO scary. Adelman is a good coach, but not great. It's funny, because toward the end of Magic's career, Portland was more talented than LA. LA was always piecing together squads to to make up for old Kareem and put around Magic and Worthy, but after 88, they were never the force they once were. Portland, meanwhile, was consistently DEEP, athletic, talented and frisky. But they never got a chip. And, don't tell me that, sometimes, you wouldn't look at those Sacramento teams and say, "Yo, these niggas should actually be beatin' LA." So, no, Adelman is not an EXTREME upgrade over Van Gundy. And I love the offseason moves, but the point guard position remains manned by Skip and Mike James...we'll see about rings or conference championships.

3. Denver: I think this squad is getting overlooked. Martin is back and that makes a world of a difference. And they all get a full season together. I just have a good feeling about this squad, they give me a warm feeling, like comfort food and Coach Karl's mock turtlenecks. I don't have any real intelligent, well-founded reasons for this pick; I just have a hunch that things will click.

2. Pheonix: Aint nuttin changed. I am excited to see how Hill balls with this squad. One of the immediate impacts is that, during Nash's EXTENDED breaks (this nigga plays, like, 18 minutes a game or some ish), Hill can run the show and allow Barbosa to focus strictly on scoring. This could spell big time trouble for opponents.

1. Dallas: Eff Dirk. This is Avery's team, now more than ever. And I feel like my nigga will have his team playing with boulders on their shoulders all season. At the end of the day, I think they remain the most talented and deepest and well balanced team in the L...now watch them tank and win something like 53 games.

EAST (be careful about the disrespect you throw over here. I really think a number of these teams can compete with the big boys out west)...

8. Miami: No team with Dwayne Wade will miss the playoffs unless something catastrophic happens. If Wade can play 70 games and Shaq can squeak out 25-30 minutes a game for 45-55 games, then I see them in playoffs -- period.

7. Cleveland: This team annoys me. I dont understand whats goin on. No Varejo, no Vulacij...no PG upgrade...and Damon Jones is still getting time on the floor even though he can only dribble with his back to defenders. This is gonna be a long season for Bron.

6. Toronto: They profited from a weak confernce last season...now that squads are healthy and improved, they'll go back to being marginal.

5. Jersey: I know adding Magloire isn't adding KG, but I think he's an upgrade over Mikki Moore. Kristic is back. Nachbar, Boone and Williams are a year older and the Kidd-Vince-RJ are healthy. I think they're gonna be murkin squads some nights, straight-up.

4. Chicago: Seeded this low because they won't win the division. I think they'll finish with, maybe, the second best record, though...much like last season. I think no differently about this squad this year than I did last year. Deep, defensive-minded, frisky and a solid contender,though I never see them having what it takes to contend in anything other than theoretical discussions. They're definitely a team with a ceiling...that is, unless Thomas turns into a beast, which is possible, just not this year. And I've been on record before and will go record once more: I am not a huge fan of Luol Deng. He's good, but will never be great. He'll never even reach Shawn Marion status. Etch that in stone. His best year will be 18-8-3-2-1...he might have 3 or 4 All-Star berths in him...but folks act like he's destined for greatness or elite status. Ain't happenin, homey.

3. Washington: As you all know, the Wiz are my East Coast squad. I grew an extreme affinity for them during my young adult years I spent in Washington where I watched anywhere between 50-65 of their games a year on Comcast. This is not a homer pick, I truly believe they're the best team in their division. For more, here is my preview I did for SLAM.

2. Boston: I still don't know if I'll be able to root for the Cs based on how I feel about the Celtics organization and the city of Boston. But, at least, part of me can't help but feel excited for three of my favorite players (KG is in my top 5 after Kobe, Wade, AI and Gil)...but when I watch the squad I still see a squad in flux. They'll p[lay inspired ball all year and be one of the most committed and THE most hungry team in the L...but I think it'll take them a while to hit their stride and you might see a couple 4 and 5 game losing streaks. I'm saying they could win as few as 50 games or as many as 56-58. I'd know more by All-Star break. And this team is not as thin as folks continue to parrot. Tony Allen, Posey and Perkins are actually pretty solid in my book. Rondo still scares me though. I think, however, KG-Pauly-Ray hunger will beat out Detroit disinterest when its all said and done and these dudes will finally get to play on the big stage.

1. Detroit: See, to me, ain't nuttin changed about the East. Detroit is still the best team in this conference and still one of the best teams in the league. Age and attrition has not done THAT much damaged and, on the low-low, this squad messed around and got young and deeper. That's some Joe.D work right there (still one of the 3 or 4 best GMs in the L and easily the most under-appreciated). The younger-deeper issue has been made by many, and although I'm nowhere near a staunch believer in an unproven like rookie Stuckey or the super-young Amir, I really think that energy and friskiness is gonna help this squad. The weak link on this squad is most definitely Sheed (who is lookin svelte these days) or Flip Saunders, but it's the DYNAMIC between the players and Flip. This doesn't rear its head too often during the regular season, but it has surfaced quite violently during their past two playoff runs. But after two straight defeats in the ECS and the embarrassment of getting ran by that despicable Cavs squad last season and the new blood in the lineup, I'm smelling a very dangerous Pistons squad that might unfortunately send KG home early this year. At the very least, they're gonna finish with the best record during the regular season.