"Y'all wanna be rockers?!"

The other day, I was watching late-night ESPN with my Pops and my lil bro and a commercial for College Game Day came on with Kirk Herbstreit, a classic American white dude, in shocking attire. He strolled in the frame wearing an electric blue pimp-suit or zoot-suit or whatever you call those 12-button joints with the jacket that comes down to your knees and wide-leg pants, made out of material that could probably substitute for a ghetto-bird's weave. Kirk was also rockin a top hat and some gators...everything was the same color. It was astoundingly hilarious to see this white dude dressed like Bishop Magic Don Juan ... or Shaq ...take your pick. That ensemble is the exclusive territory of ghetto black men who grew up without fathers...or black men who grew up with fathers that grew up without fathers. No self-respecting black man that isnt Shaq, a wide receiver or a comedian would ever be caught close to dead in those get-ups. But a white dude?!!! The only time a white person would ever be caught dead in that ensemble is if he was white trash that grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. that's why it was so hilarious to see Kirk in the suit and inevitably why he was dressed that way for the commercial: not only was that a cultural identifier for blacks, but more specifically, a sub-cultural identifier for blacks. that sub-culture -- pimps, trifling athletes and men that were never called 'son' -- is on the totally opposite end of the sociocultural spectrum from Kirk Herbstreet, hence the comedy.

This is bringing me to my extreme disappointment with the new trend toward young blacks dressing like The Ramones.

Before I get there, I started thinking about this today while listening to NPR this morning. During Morning Edition they ran this story of Dallas Mayor Dwayne Carraway, who was seeking to legally ban "sagging" of the pants. They're calling it the "No-sag rule". If you've seen a rap video for the past 5 years, the way for young dudes to rock their pants is to literally buckle and belt them around their thighs so that their jeans are literally under their buttocks. Carraway said that initially "it would show their boxers..then it started showing their dirty boxers...then no boxers at all." This was incredibly startling. You mean some of these bamas were walking around, sagging their pants while they were bare-balling??!?!!!! Hard to believe, but whatever. My point here is that, although I think it's stupid how low these young dudes and young rappers like Hurricane Chris and Soulja Boy rock their pants; I'm not up in arms about it, because that's how we used to rock our pants back in the day, just a little bit higher. (Everything gets lower with each successive generation, most importantly morals, hence another NPR piece about a school district in New Jersey passing out condoms in middle school). Anyways, it's all hip hop, maybe just a little more extreme. But I most definitely remember adults CONSTANTLY telling me and my peers to pull up our pants or shorts and it's like, "I'm trying to be like Grand Puba or Jalen Rose not Donnie Simpson." My brother Gee was still saggin his pants at the age of 23, well after it was acceptable -- that's how pervasive it was. So I can respect, on a fundamental level, these young cats new interpretation and manifestation of hip hop style. "Do you" is my model there...just don't walk around without shoes and brush your teeth.

HOWEVER, I do not and cannot accept or see why/how these young people -- mostly in more urbane environs of NYC, Cali, Miami, Chi, etc -- are dressing like they are Sid Vicious or part of Green Day. The only fashion-trend more inappropriate and annoying are fat puerto rican women that wear mid-drifts; unfortunately I see both in the Bronx when all I wanna do is walk the two blocks to the bodega in visual peace.

You seen them, right? They were the ULTRA-tight jeans that cling to the calves, and can't fit over their waist because 1.) they're too tight and 2.) THEY'RE NOT EVEN LONG ENOUGH!!!!, so they sit right under their arses. These jeans are literally 3 to 4 inches too short, they actually dont have enough fabric. And they typically have on smedium shirts that comes just to their waist, so u literally see their boxers, as in: the boxers are part of the outfit. (The ghetto nigs imitating rappers at least wear long T-shirts that look like maternity dresses.) For a white dude with a jet-black mohawk that wants to learn how to bang out a killer guitar solo, it's cool. But for thse dudes? Nigga, when did your Young Jeezy-listening, black-planet-surfing a$$ become a punk rocker?!!!! How did this come about? Kirk Herbstreet was joking when he rocked the socio-cultural identifying pimp-suit/gator combo in the commercial. These young impostor-niggas is halfway serious. This is no different than some black dudes to all of sudden start rockin Bob Cousy shorts on the ball courts and dribbling only with their right hand. this is prevailing against the very core of black style.

Look, I'm no fashion police. I'm typically one stain or rip from looking like a hobo...but I don't try to make fashion statements. there has always been a give and take between Negro style and euro fashion and most of us meet in the middle. But there has also been those extreme of trifling on the negro end and cornballness and/or oddities on the euro end and neither ethnicity ever ventures to the opposite ends unless they were adopted or abused as a kid.

I guess what I'm saying (if 'm saying anything at all) is that Carraway should stop focusing his attention on trivial things like sagging in his ow city or education or crime and start traveling to these other cities and throwing these wanna-be-punk-rock traitors in jail.

50 Cent said it best recently on Hot 97 with Flex when, bewildered, he remarked: "I was in Southside in my old hood the other day and these kids were dressed like rockers! And I'm thinkin, 'Yall wanna be rockers?'"

I never thought I'd say this and I'm really on some narrow-minded BS, but straight up...get these kids some G-Unit gear, 'cause I'm done with this trend.