Phil Jackson is back with the Lakers

Shaq's a big, black, **&$#@ with a trailer-trash handle-bar mustache. But, more on Diesel a lil later, let's handle the more immediate affairs first. The gist of the matter is this...Phil coming back to the Lakers gives me a chubby.

It's all math my people. If Rudy would've stayed healthy and coached through the season and the Lakers would have remained even moderately healthy, LA would've been in the playoffs, which is all I expected from us in our first year without the big dude. But, Rudy got sick, quit his gig, Kobe went down, Mar went down, Grant went down and Vlade never got up. people forget that when Kobe went down, we were 5 games over .500 and Rudy left with us still hovering at .500 and in the 8th spot.

With Shaq gone and Phil back, I think you'll see a different Kobe -- a more appreciative Kobe.

Let's be clear: Shaq was the problem between Phil and Kobe. All Kobe wanted was some freedom within the offense and a little more respect from Phil. But Phil consistently sided with Shaq in practically all matters, yet demanded more from Kobe. To me, it was never a fair relationship. And, with Kobe's personality flaws, things were bound to become tense. Do you think a 25-year-old Jordan would've went for consistently playing second-fiddle to a sensitive, attention-grubbing, media-manipulating, jealous dude like Shaq? Not when he looked at Shaq and saw poor work ethic and ESPECIALLY not when all the 4th quarter responsibilities fell upon HIS shoulders because Shaq couldn't knock down a free-throw. Jordan would have never gone for that. The greats are usually maniacally driven individuals, so why do people expect different from Kobe.

Kobe-Phil will work and my squad will be back to being competitive next season. We definitely have some roster moves we have to make, and I'm not sure that Kupchak is that dude to do it...but even with the present team we can spit out 45-50 and smell that playoff aroma again.

Now for Shaq. Why does this clown get a pass? Because he's funny? I admit, he amuses me and he seems like a swell dude to chill with and he'd be a great teammate...but that's only if you understand that he's the alpha-omega. The second a teammate starts filling out his britches or the media starts questioning "who's more important" Shaq turns into a squabbling, backstabbing, whiny, obnoxious, selfish, prima donna bish.

Since the day he left LA he hasn't kept his trailer-trash mouth closed. It's been "Jerry Buss this" and "Kobe that" and "Lakers this". His readiness to annoint Miami "D. Wade's team" was laughable, since Wade is nowhere near the player Kobe is and never will be. Everything Shaq did -- lose weight, take less shots, let my lil brother D. do is thing -- was, I think, a veiled vanilla-creme pie in the Lakers face. "This is what you could've had LA," he was basically saying.

It would be similar to a ex-girlfriend/boyfriend that you dumped, losing mad weight and being on their best behavior with their new beau...and publicly flaunting it, too. Maybe you said that they were to uncomfortable with PDA, then the next thing you know their at the same party you're at and she's tonguin this dude down on top of a table.

Everything Shaq did was vindictive, petty and wack.

Even his comments yesterday..."I don't know Kobe, that name doesn't register." What? Are you in the tenth grade? or are you a grown man with 10 kids? Which one is it? Plus, you look like Jeff Foxworthy.

Then he goes and says he'd have "liked to see Phil in Sacramento", LA's arch-rival back in their championship days. That was a simple-minded swipe at LA again. How petty.

But here's the thing...Kobe won. He got rid of Shaq AND then got back the best coach in the biz. I guarantee Kobe whens another title. Shaq, on the other hand, will either be retired in two years or lumbering up-down the court like an old Pat Ewing.

Kazaam!