Women and Red Carpet

...or I guess that should really say Women and Red Carpet AND Award Shows.
(random aside: the house I rented in Florida had red carpet. and one of the bathrooms was purple...just sayin...)

I'm sure this is no revelation to anyone, but women take red carpets ultra-seriously. Watch the pre-show for the Grammys or Oscars or VMAs with a feme and it's really alarming how worked up they get over who is wearing what and how their hair looks. It must be what the opp-sex thinks about the way us kats scream at the tele during sporting events, huh?

I guess I fall somewhere in the middle. I have dudes that are zombies during a good game and others that are maniacal. My new move for the past couple years has been to just clap my hands extremely loud...catch me during a close Laker or Wizard game and I might get a little extra hype, but nothing ridiculous.

My sister, Lyd, is ridiculous with the Red Carpet commentary and reactions. She literally had something to say about every star that passed the television screen. I'm not talking about simple, "Oh, she looks beautiful." or some customary catty quips like, "Oh no she didn't come with that much cleavage." Sis was breakin ish down like she the equivalent of a Red Carpet John Madden or something. Not only that, but her reactions were incredibly emotional...when Jenniffer Hudson stepped up to kick it with Seacrest -- who, I've come to find out, is flamingly gay -- Lyd actually through her arms up in the air and groaned in lamentation. Hudson's silver Star-Trek shoulder-thing depressed Lyd for a good five minutes. Other times she was excoriating stylist for the way they did their stars hair, "How she gonna pay you money to make her look good and you let her walk down the red carpet with her hair lookin' a mess? You know good well she should have worn her hair UP with that dress!"

I sat there beside her for an hour consistently dumbfounded. Aside from the gay fashion reporters (always entertaining in a deviant way), the Red Carpert (for a kat) is only good to see some beautiful women looking their best. Beyonce was hot, Jessica Biel was hot, Kate Winslet was hot, Penelope Cruz was hot and Helen effin Mirren was hot (I got such a crush on ol' girl...her, Phylicia Rashaad and Meryl Streep...these things cant be explained, they just are what they are...), Jada Pinkett is looking more masculine each day...on the carpet she looked like Juelz Santana in a dress, Will is going gray...these are the very superficial things I notice and pay any mind...Lyd was so keen during the pre-show I was more entertained watching her reaction, it was over the top.

It prolly has to do with that whole Vicarious Life deal. Men do that with athletes, since most of us can't march a squad down the field in 2 minutes like Tom Brady or reel off 12 straight clutch-points in the fourth quarter like Kobe or hit the walk-off homer like Big Pap. Broads will never look as glamorous as Beyonce or Cameron Diaz. And the same way us kats play virtual GM and armchair quarterback, commending and deriding personnel decisions and actual athletic proceedings and coaching strategies as if we're more qualified than the professionals...the same way we do that, women seem to think they know what would look best on Kerry Washington and how Hillary Swank should wear her hair so she looks less like Kevin Bacon. To hear Lyd last Sunday was to hear a woman that must have never made a wrong fashion decision in her life (although if I was honest I would have to say Lyd stays fly with her gear, but still...).

Midway through the Red Carpet, when it was first hitting me that Lyd was taking this thing ultra-serious like it was Game 7 of the NBA Finals or the bar exam, I made some stupid comment...something like, "I can't believe you're getting this worked up." That's when she revealed that, in most cases she doesn't even watch the actual awards show, she just watched the red carpet and then switches the channel. "I don't really care who wins what, I just wanna see what they're wearing." awes.