The Globes: Cruz, Carey and Cash

-- My man Tony was the first to put me on to the Penelope Cruz mystique. I forgot which movie we were watching but as it began he was tellin me how sexy she was, and I'm looking at this broad with a weird nose and busted grill and wondering, "what planet are u takin me to, Tone? Cause I'm lost right now." He responded by telling me to just watch the whole movie, guaranteeing that by the end, I'd see the light. And I did. There's Something About Penelope. Last night, on the Globes, I was first caught out there wondering if she was pregnant, but after that split second, I was stuck in a daze, smitten for some reason. Needless to say, I'd be on time for that.

I'm also semi-convinced that I'd live the Good Life with Scarlett Johanssen. And I'm also convinced that Mariah Carey wipes off her lipstick with a piping hot curling iron. Her upper lip is as gross as Geoffrey Rush's nose, Hammer's crotch in the Pumps n Bumps video and Sandra Bernhardt.

With the Globes over, I now have my movie mandate leading up to the Oscars and there are still about six flix that I haven't checked.

Speaking of which, I saw Walk the Line and I'm not so sure it was a great movie. Matta fact, I'm sure it wasn't a great movie. And if Pheonix wins the Oscar, like he won the Globe, I think it's cheapening Foxx's Oscar. I'm just puttin that out there. No doubt, he got the voice down pretty well, but isn't there more to playing a role than that? I wasn't compelled once during that whole movie.

I'm no movie critic, that's just my 122 cents.